Life
by Rebecca Martinson on June 25, 2014

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I love North Korea. Not literally, of course, but more in the way that you love your weird as shit cousins. You laugh at them whenever you see them because they’re odd and won’t stop eating sticks of butter, but at the same time you never ever want to visit them because they live in “that house” on the block. You know, the one with the lawn so overgrown it looks straight outta The Jungle Book and the house has cracked windows that go nicely with the giant blank patches on the roof where shingles fell off. In today’s North Korean antics, the brilliant military leaders over there have promised “merciless” retaliation if the Seth Rogen / James Franco movie about assassinating Kim Jon-un is released.

“The North Korea spokesman was quoted by the state KCNA news agency as saying: ‘Making and releasing a movie on a plot to hurt our top-level leadership is the most blatant act of terrorism and war and will absolutely not be tolerated.’
He added that the ‘reckless US provocative insanity’ of mobilising a ‘gangster filmmaker’ to challenge the North’s leadership was triggering ‘a gust of hatred and rage’ among North Korean people and soldiers. ‘If the US administration allows and defends the showing of the film, a merciless counter-measure will be taken,’ the spokesman was quoted as saying.”

Via BBC News

I’m not sure a “gust of hatred and rage among North Korean people and soldiers” is possible when the majority of the country probably doesn’t own a television / have never even seen a Hollywood film. There’s also a good chance that the population has no idea who James Franco and Seth Rogen even are, in which case they might just have an edge over us because I’m getting kinda tired of every decent comedy having the same 5 actors in it. In other words, keep the press releases comin’ boys. Nothing makes my day more than reading about how North Korea got their feelings hurt for being one of the most useless countries on the planet.

Rebecca Martinson

About Rebecca Martinson...

Rebecca Martinson is a recent graduate from the University of Maryland who is notoriously known throughout the Internet for being really, really adequate at writing emails. She joined BroBible right after graduating in the Spring of 2014 and doesn't hate it...yet.