I think every New York City-based blog on the planet has reported about the "monster" that washed up from the depths of the East River (alternative theory: Hell itself) this afternoon. Our turn to speculate about the gargoylian beast! In abject horror, it bares a strickingly shocking resembalance to the Montauk Monster of 2008, but the paws and short legs seem to suggest that it's more like a small pig. New York City's Parks and Rec Department even speculated that it's probably "a pig left over from a cookout." Except it's not, because pigs have hooves. That leaves one other theory, according to all the fishing blogs: A raccoon after spending a little too much time in the water. But your guess is as good as ours.