New Study Reveals Dogs Can Detect Cancer With 98% Accuracy, Proving Once Again That Dogs Contribute More To Society Than I Do

It’s a shitty thing to come to terms with but at this point I think it’s safe to admit that dogs contribute more to society than I do. They are essential players in search and rescue, sniffing out explosives, assisting blind people, and shit, was there anything Air Bud couldn’t do on the playing field? The biggest contribution I’ve made to society in recent memory was being strong-armed by the CVS cashier into giving $1 to child cancer with my purchase of Marboro Lights.

And now dogs can add ‘detecting cancer’ to their illustrious resume.

The Department of Urology at the Humanitas Clinical and Research Centre in Milan found that dogs can detect cancer cells in humans with 98% accuracy.

The study utilized two trained German Shepards sniffing urine samples of 900 men, 360 of which had prostate cancer.

The dogs’ near perfect accuracy is ground-breaking news for scientists and medical professionals who can detect the illness as early as possible, allowing for more effective treatment.

Dr. Claire guest of The Department of Urology states,

“These results are spectacular. They offer us further proof that dogs have the ability to detect human cancer. It is particularly exciting that we have such a high success rate in the detection of prostate cancer, for which the existing tests are woefully inadequate. Over the years, millions of pounds of NHS funding has been poured into the traditional test methods, and yet there has been little improvement in their reliability.”

Currently, doctors use blood tests, biopsies, and physical exams to test for prostate cancer, and a simply sniff of pee would allow for easier and more widespread detection.

“The detection dogs provide alternative solution that yields consistently accurate results. If our detection dogs were a machine, there would be huge demand for them.”

The test results of cats’ contributions to society have yet to be released. But I’m skeptical of whether or not incessantly scratching the couch and hiding under the radiator for days positively impacts anything.

[H/T LADbible]

Matt Keohan Avatar
Matt’s love of writing was born during a sixth grade assembly when it was announced that his essay titled “Why Drugs Are Bad” had taken first prize in D.A.R.E.’s grade-wide contest. The anti-drug people gave him a $50 savings bond for his brave contribution to crime-fighting, and upon the bond’s maturity 10 years later, he used it to buy his very first bag of marijuana.