When picking out a home the one thing you can’t predict is how your neighbors will be. It doesn’t matter how much you love your place, if your neighbors are a nightmare, you’re going to be miserable.
A Reddit thread asked members to share their worst tales of neighbors from hell.
Mind Your Business
Mostly noise violations for nothing. I was cooking steak and bacon on the porch in the summer and they called the fire dept once for the smoke.
The Fire Pit
I’ve had neighbors with shitty DIY backyard fires. They burned things in some kind of old bucket that produced smoke, which smelled so toxic. The dad worked at fertilizer company or something. The air in the evening would be all soupy and thick with some kind of burnt off chemical residue or whatever that was in the bucket they lit. That’s how to not do fires in a yard.
Bald Eagle
We live near a protected area for endangered animals. One of the animals that the sanctuary is meant to protect is bald eagles. Since we live next to a field, it’s pretty common for an eagle to sit on our porch and disembowel its rabbit for dinner.
We have a neighbor that keeps calling the cops on us because the bird is on our property and claims it is traumatizing his innocent children. He treats us like we’re the ones murdering fluffy bunnies for our own amusement.
The True Neighbor From Hell
Look closely at the sign (above) my neighbor posted not days after my father’s week long agonizing death of lung cancer. It says “KARMA’s A BiTcH”. The picture was taken from my front porch. It takes a sad and broken person to do such a thing.
Children of the Corn
I guess not “from hell,” but their kids are the worst. It starts every spring. They only have one speech volume, which is scream. It sounds like children are being murdered on a daily basis. They jump all over my porch swing even though I have repeatedly asked the parents to tell them not to. They run up and down the stairs of my porch constantly. I am just waiting for one to get seriously hurt and then it’s my fault. I have a narrow driveway and last summer the one got his bike wedged between my house and my cars’ passenger door, scratched the shit out of it. Basically they just run wild and the parents either don’t care, or are too drunk to notice at times. I don’t know when I turned into a crotchety old man at 30 but damn those kids.
No Diving
My neighbours call the police on me if I jump into my pool. Apparently, the sound of water is enough to get them annoyed.
Stay On Your Side
Looked out of my window to see my neighbour leaning over my 6ft high fence, and stretching right into my yard to saw some of the main branches off my tree… My tree had never extended over the fence and her limb-hacking killed it. A few months later, she cut one of the wires attached to our boundary fence that was holding up a shade cloth in my backyard. I called the cops on her. And a couple of weeks later, all the plants along our boundary fence mysteriously died, and seriously damaged some of my trees… And I still have no idea what her problem is!
Awful Kids
My neighbours have two little kids that are douchebags to my puppy. She is 10 months old and these 5-6 year old kids keep kicking the fence (Metal mesh fence inside a hedge), yelling at her, randomly lunging to the fence to scare her. Parents are NOWHERE to be seen, basically they just lock their kids outside into their yard to run amok and even if I’ve asked them to keep them away from her they don’t give a shit. Ive spent a lot of money on fencing in the entire yard since I work from home and can see out the window to make sure my puppy isn’t getting into anything bad, but when they are out I can’t let her be outside cause I don’t want her to become scared of kids due to those dipshits.
Cursed
Neighbors kid use to always just walk right in the front door. Before I moved into the house the original owner murdered the previous neighbor for always parking in his driveway. House is cursed to make annoying neighbors I guess.
Lawn Care
Cop here. I went to a disturbance call where two neighbors were blowing leaves at each other with leaf blowers. They were actually mad while doing this.
The Yappy Dog
Our neighbour has a really yappy dog named Jimmy that drives us nuts. When the neighbour asked us to cut down a little tree in our yard that was casting a shadow on her garden, my husband resolved that we would cut it down only when Jimmy shut up. That is, never.
A couple weeks later, we found the tree cut down. The maniac must have snuck into the yard at night and cut it down. I can’t stand that lady.
Trash Cans
Found a neighbor of mine putting his trash in my cans. Then when I confronted him he tried to fight me.
It Was Probably Comcast
My neighbour cut the Cable with her garden sheers, I presume an argument over the bill. She wouldn’t let the cable company in to repair it. So they had to by pass her house, my house and about 6 others had no TV, Phone or Internet for 8 days.
Overkill
Ten chihuahuas.
Children At Play
Neighbour behind my house would scream at her kids daily to the point our kids would be afraid to play in the backyard.
By “scream,” I mean things such as “You fucking little cunt! Get the fuck out here!” (verbatim quote) to a kid that looked like he was 8 or 9.
My ex even tried to help out one day; one of her kids was up a 3-storey tall tree of hers that hung over our fence and wouldn’t climb down (I wonder why?) and this banshee was screaming all sorts of bile at him to come down. My ex calmly says to the boy “Please climb down, sweetie. You might fall” to try and convince him; the woman then turns on her “What the fuck do you think you’re doing? Don’t you fucking talk to my kids!”
I made the mistake of calling the cops on her once while she was abusing several people. She then came after my me physically.
Motherly Advice
Many stories but I will leave this bit of speech my genius neighbor spouted last weekend. Screaming this from her front porch to her adult son who just jumped in his jeep…“Put your seatbelt on, you been drinkin’!”
Dog’s Worst Friend
My neighbor tried to kill my dog with an axe in front of me. So basically that guy is insane.
Then Lisa Moves In…
I live in a two story apartment complex, and I’m on the second floor. Nobody lived downstairs for the first 4 months I was there, and it was great. Then Lisa moved in. I know her name is Lisa because she talks non fucking stop. She is on the phone screaming constantly. She was moved here from NYC because the dude she’s banging is sick of driving from his place in Philly up to NYC. Mind you, this guy is married with 3 kids. Again, I know all this because I hear everything through the floor. He stops by twice a day, at 6 pm and 4 am. And they have the loudest sex possible. Then he leaves. Then she calls someone and screams until she falls asleep.
This is my life.