Doctors May Have Uncovered The Best Way To Quit Smoking But Now Here’s The Weird News — It’s Shrooms

Do you want to quit nicotine so badly that you’re willing to go on a mind-melting journey thanks to some way powerful ‘shrooms? We’ll you’re in luck…

Johns Hopkins Professor Matthew Johnson examined the effects of giving aspiring nicotine quitters controlled doses of psilocybin — the psychoactive component in mushrooms.  Here’s how it went down:

Over 15 weeks, the smokers were asked to reflect on their habit and they were given the task of creating a personal mantra that captured their reasons for wanting to stop smoking. After four sessions of the CBT, the patients are each told to smoke what is meant to be their final cigarette. Then – time for the drug.

The participants are ushered into a kind of ritual-room, wherein they are given a dose of the drug and told to relax. They are also asked to bring comfort items: pictures of friends or family, stuffed animals, blankets, etc. The dose-capsule itself is presented in a wooden goblet to enhance the feeling of ceremony.

Once the drug starts to kick in, the researchers take a step back. “What we do here is psychedelic therapy,” says Albert Garcia-Romeu, Johnson’s colleague. “That’s high-dose. That’s generally not a talking therapy…I’m mostly just there as a safety-monitor.”

“Safety monitor” is a nice term. Use that the next time you want to get real fucked up but need a friend to stay stone sober to keep an eye on you. “Hey bro, want to be my safety monitor?”

Here’s the thinking behind the medicinal trip.

“[Research shows there’s a] 71% success rate for people who quit smoking just after they had a heart attack,” he explains. A heart attack would certainly qualify as a profound experience, but it’s not something you can go around triggering in people in order to stop them from smoking. Instead the aim is to use a powerful psychedelic trip to trigger a similar effect… an intense, abstract experience that changes the patient’s perspective.”

So basically, the ‘shrooms are supposed to take them to this amazing place that will encourage them to quit smoking. But what if you’re in a trip and just imagine smoking giant Marlboros the size of baseball bats?

John and his team reported 12 of the 15 participants gave up smoking after the experience. The other three spent their life savings on Fare Thee Well tickets.

How would you like to be the doctor to drop this news on a guy who’s got to quit smoking? “Mr. Mason, we’ve got good news and bad news. The good news is there might be a way to get you to quit smoking almost immediately. The bad news is the cure is a hallucinogenic that will make you think the city is under attack by blue elephants and your best friend’s face is made of guacamole. One bad trip, you might never return, but hey no more cigs amma right?”

(slaps your leg, leaves examining room)

[via Man’s Life]

Chris Illuminati avatar
Chris Illuminati is a 5-time published author and recovering a**hole who writes about running, parenting, and professional wrestling.