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The Most Racist Moments of 2013

By / 12.30.13

It’s sad to think that assembling a list of the most racist moments of 2013 is possible but it’s downright awful to admit the list could have been much longer. Once we cruised past the high teens and got into the twenties, we thought, “that’s enough hatred for one post.”

Some may argue that just by constructing a list of the most racist moments of 2013 we’re actually promoting racist behavior. Not true. Our goal with this piece is to highlight the stupid of hatred towards another human based on skin color. These stories of horrific actions by intolerant people should serve as a warning to the rest of the world.  

We hope the coming year brings with it a little more tolerance, much more respect towards all races and substantially less vitriol towards other humans. Sadly, we know it just won’t happen, because as long as the world spins and humans breathe, there will be morons like the morons in the following awful but true stories.

In no particular order (because no one needs to spend time ranking racist acts because they are all extraordinarily and equally awful) here are the most racist moments of 2013.

Contestant On ‘Family Feud’ Calls Zombies Black

Let’s start off with just a slightly racist slip of the tongue. Perhaps this isn’t the most racist moment of the year — it might not even really be racist at all — but still worth noting a white woman is asked a question on Family Feud about zombies this woman’s first thought is to scream out “THEY’RE BLACK!” and discuss her answer based on race. 

Sly Stallone Caught on Camera Hurling the N-Word at Paparazzi

Sylvester Stallone lost his cool with paparazzi in November and threw a one-two combo of harshness that included the n-word. Sly claims he never said it “no way, no how.” If there were only some way to prove he said it, like maybe, a video and about twenty witnesses to the altercation. Sly never apologized for the incident or for Bullet to the Head.

Racist Richie Incognito Says He’s Not a Racist

The entire saga of former Miami Dolphins players Richie Incognito and Jonathan Martin was an incredibly surprising and sad peek into exactly what happens in some NFL locker rooms. Even sadder was Incognito going on national television to defend himself, saying he never bullied his former team, even though voicemails and texts said otherwise.

Some Boston Fans Are as Racist as We All Imagine

We’ve heard of getting “crazy” with the heat but we’re not sure the heat makes you racist. This guy is probably racist in the cool air conditioning and even locked in a freezer. A fellow fan took a picture of this racist Sox fan text messaging at Fenway back in August.

Pennsylvania School Officials Enjoyed Sending Extremely Racist Texts

How is it, in THE YEAR 2013, people STILL don’t understand technology. There used to be a paper trail of people being idiotic, now it’s a tech trail, and this trail lead right to a former superintendent and an athletic director in the Coatesville Pennsylvania Area School District. According to a published report, the two men exchanged numerous racist text messages about staff and students on school-issued cell phones. The texts were called “lewd”, “sexist” and rife with the “n-word.” The texts were discovered by a district employee transferring data from an old phone to a new phone.  

Racist Morons Pissed New Miss America Is an Indian-American

In September, 24-year-old Nina Davuluri was crowned Miss America. Davuluri is the first Indian American to hold the title. Mere seconds after Davuluari was crowned, racists rushed to Twitter to complain about what has become of a crown that people should really not give a crap about.  Racists and ignorants on Twitter made comments linking Davulari to terrorism, made references to convenience stores, and bitched that Miss America should be more “American.” This is crazy to hear because people are Twitter are usually so peaceful and tolerant.  

Alabama Law Firm Has Most Racist Commercial Ever…Fine…”So Far”

The commercial for the law firm of McCutcheon & Hamner, which ran sometime this year in the state of Alabama, is easily the most racist commercial we’ve ever seen…so far. We’re adding “so far” because we’re sure an even more racist ad will run in 2014. For now, McCutcheon & Hammer take home the Clio for the most racist depiction of Asians.   

PR Woman Sends Out “Joke” Tweet About Catching AIDS on Africa Trip

Public Relations is “the use of media, print and technology to make information known to the public or a certain targeted demographic.” A public relation rep by the name of Justine Sacco, formerly of the media company IAC, tweeted out before a trip to Africa “Going to Africa. Hope I Don’t Get Aids. Just Kidding. I’m White!” and then boarded a plane and disappeared for 12 hours while the entire world awaited her arrival. Let’s just say the life Justine landed to was MUCH different than the life she had before she boarded the plane. Hope she don’t get fired. Just kidding. She did!

Riley Cooper Vows to Fight “Every N*****” at Kenny Chesney Concert

Philadelphia Eagles wide receiver Riley Cooper got a little tipsy at a Kenny Chesney concert back in June, and in a moment of rage, promised to “fight every n-word here.” The video surfaced online a few days later and Riley found himself fighting a lot more — he was fighting to stay on the team and against the wrath of a pissed off country. Cooper kept his job and has kept out of trouble since. While we were incredibly offended by Riley’s racial slurs, we can understand it’s best to forgive and forget. The only thing we can’t forgive and forget in this whole incident is the cutoff flannel shirt.

Racist Big Brother Houseguest Doesn’t Realize She’s On Camera, Like, All the Time

Big Brother is always watching, especially when you’re actually a contestant ON the show Big Brother. That didn’t stop former contestant Aaryn Gries from making racist and homophobic comments on camera during Big Brother 15 in July. Gries’ comments about other housemates included calling one gay contestant a “queer”, telling another Asian contestant to “go make some rice” and wondered aloud whether it would be advantageous to “look like a squinty Asian” to win.  

Katy Perry Dresses as Geisha For AMA Performance

At the American Music Awards this year, Katy Perry performed her hit song “Unconditionally” while dressed as a geisha and surrounded cherry blossoms, a Shinto shrine and taiko drummers. Perry thought the performance was a tribute to the culture but a ton of other people called it just plain racist.

Paula Deen Had a Really, REALLY Bad Year

Paula Deen had a rough year and it was something even a stick of butter couldn’t solve. During a deposition for a lawsuit against her and her brother, filed by a former employee, Deen admitted to once using a racial slur. The slur was decades ago, after being robbed at gunpoint while working as a bank teller. The media got wind of Paula’s admission and the Deen empire crumbled faster than a delicious crumb cake at Christmas.  

Ted Nugent Said Something. It Was Racist. Act Surprised

Everyone had an opinion about the Trayvon Martin case. Even lunatic conservative rockers known for such classics as “Cat Scratch Fever” and “Wango Tango” and other songs that also could have been the names of villains in the world of Hanna Barbera. On the July 17th episode of Alex Jones’ radio show, Nugent predicted riots after the Zimmerman verdict and offered some advice to African-Americans stating they could “fix the black problem tonight if they would put their heart and soul into being honest, law-abiding, and delivering excellence at every move in your life.” What a crock of Wango Tango.

Everything About the Entire Trayvon Martin Shooting That Had Little To Do With the Actual Case

We’re not going to get into the specifics of the saga of George Zimmerman and Trayvon Martin, because most of the details are well known, but we’ll mention that the case itself brought thousands of other racists out of the woodwork (see Nugent above) and the racist comments weren’t all directed towards the African-American victim. Nancy Grace took the opportunity to stereotype the accused, Zimmerman, speculating that the former neighbor watchman turned vigilante that during the trial he was “out on bond, driving through Taco Bell every night, having a churro.”

“Santa and Jesus Are Definitely White” Says Fox News Host

Megyn Kelly, a host on Fox News, got a little bent out of shape at the recent assertion that Santa can be black because he’s a fictional character. Kelly took a couple moments on air to remind everyone Santa and Jesus are white, these are verifiable facts, and to stop screwing with her childhood. We made up that last part.

‘Duck Dynasty’ Star Had Some Things to Say About Gays and Blacks in Interview — No Mention of Ducks

Phil Robertson, patriarch of the Robertson family and star of cable’s number one show, Duck Dynasty said in an interview with GQ that “homosexuality is a sin comparable to bestiality” and claims to have never seen black people treated poorly — even though he was raised in the Jim Crow south.  A&E suspended the star for his comments, then changed their minds when fans said they’d boycott the station and the rest of Robertson family said they’d walk from show that made the network millions. Perhaps the saddest part of the story is that a family of duck hunters is the biggest show on TV.

Frat Party Theme Offends Women, Native Americans and Everyone Not Invited

According to reports, the Cal Poly chapter of Phi Sigma Kappa hosted a “Colonial Bros and Nava-Hoes” mixer in November that called for brothers Men to wear colonial-era costumes and sorority sisters to don sexually explicit and Native American-themed attire. Look, we love a good frat party, but it’s time to stop with the ridiculous themes. Here’s a suggestion — every fraternity party from here forward is themed “everyone of age come over and drink” and we can avoid situations like this one.  

Customer Allegedly Leaves Racial Slur Instead of Tip on Check

A waitress at a Red Lobster allegedly (more on that in second) posted a photo of check she received during her shift where a customer wrote the N-word in the spot where a tip amount should go. Red Lobster fired her because taking photos of customer receipts is against company policy, even if the customer is a massive asshole. The internet got wind of the waitress tale of whoa! and raised $10K to give to her to replace the tip. Handwriting analysts concluded that the person who wrote “none” on the check was not the same person who wrote the hateful word. The customer claimed he had to leave in a hurry, took the food to go, and felt a tip wasn’t really necessary since they didn’t dine in. The waitress claims it wasn’t her and could have been “anyone in the building.”

SNL Doesn’t Have a Black Female Cast Member — People Complain — Suddenly They Find Two

This story isn’t really so much about racism but more about a lack of diversity on a TV show famous for poking fun at issues like race.  After a Kerry Washington-hosted episode in November of this year, fans and critics of Saturday Night Live wondered aloud (IE — complained on Twitter) about the lack of black females in the cast. Cast members Keenan Thompson and Jay Pharoah, both black, expressed frustration at the lack of female black cast members. Show producer Lorne Michaels said it wasn’t for a lack of trying, they just hadn’t found the right women. People call BS, websites wrote all about the “issue”, and two black women good enough to join the cast magically appeared out of thin air. They were hired and will join the cast after the winter hiatus. What luck!

A Website Called Ghettotracker Exists and It’s as Offensive as You’d Imagine

It would be nice to know a little more about a neighborhood before purchasing a house.  Especially when moving into a new town. A new website takes out some of the guess work by letting potential homebuyers know which streets, blocks and town are “ghetto.” Ghettotracker invites users to rate neighborhoods based on scientific parameters such as which parts of town are safe and which ones are ‘ghetto’ or unsafe.

Stars — They Are Just Like Us! They Encounter Racists. Even Oprah

Although this story is sad in a “we can’t believe people still act like that” way it’s oddly made us feel good in a “even people as famous and loaded as Oprah gets treated like crap on occasion” kind of way. The media giant was shopping in Zurich and wanted to get a closer look at a $40K handbag in a shop. The guy behind the counter, unaware that Oprah’s vagina prints money, said the bag was “too expensive” for the talk show host worth an estimated $2.9 billion dollars. Oprah politely asked again and declined saying he “didn’t want to hurt her feelings.”

Who Knew a Cheerios Commercial Would Bring Out So Many Racists?

You know, you try to make a sweet commercial about a bowl of cereal and suddenly the ad becomes a hotbed of racial tension. A Cheerios commercial above featuring an interracial couple and their daughter generated such a massive racist backlash on YouTube. The comments were so horrific the comments section had to be closed. According to Adweek, the comment section was filled with “with references to Nazis, troglodytes and racial genocide.”


TAGSNewsracisim
Chris Illuminati
About Chris Illuminati... Here is more than you'll ever really want to know about me -- These are the books I've written, these are the places I've done or will do stand-up, these are the articles I've written, this is the blog I do about my inadequacies as a father and this is how you can get in touch with me.

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