This Dad’s Tattoo Will Prove That Your Dad Really Doesn’t Love You All That Much

I knew my dad really never loved me. Ya sure, he cleaned the shit out of my diapers, put me through college, put up with my fingering my girlfriend in the basement of the house he paid for, but I can’t say he ever got a baby picture permanently inked on his noggin. Where’s your fucking commitment, dad?? IF THAT’S YOUR REAL NAME. What’s that, it’s Tim? We’re just full of surprises today aren’t we? If you’re reading this, I’m not talking to you until you show your love for me in a way that will prohibit you from ever working again, getting laid, or making new friends. Or until my account balance gets low and I need a few bucks.

Take a page out of this guy’s book.

Dad of the Year. And next year, and I guess permanently Dad of the Year.

Starcasm delved into the comment section, where hilarity ensued.

Via Starcasm:

COMMENTER 1: Is this a joke Chris?!

CHRIS: It’s not

COMMENTER 1: Why on your f***ing face?! How are you ever going to get a real f***ing job to support your son with a tattoo on your face?

CHRIS: [since deleted] Welfare 😉

COMMENTER 1: *kicks you* Chris.. I’m going to kill you next time I see you!

CHRIS: Lol

COMMENTER 1: It’s not funny! I’m going to make you come live with so you don’t do stupid sh!t like this. Although it is a nice tat, you should have put it somewhere else.

CHRIS: Beautiful tattoo of a beautiful face ontop of another beautiful face

COMMENTER 1: Mmmhm.

CHRIS: Yup

COMMENTER 2: [In a series of comments] I give it 3 years before the regret starts Rollin in…Poll more like 3 days…Probably*…Lol ONE day…I’m not judging tho. I think it’s great work. But society frowns upon face tattoos

CHRIS: Well my son looked at it n smiled so that’s all I care aboutAnd just in case you were curious, here’s what’s on the other side of Chris’s head.The bold statement piece has a number of potential drawbacks, including making it more difficult to find work. It seems Chris did struggle with that one and another one that may now put pressure on his to do it all over again.

From September: CHRIS: So for those of you who do not know, me n [girlfriend] are having another kid n were keeping it. We may fight all the time n always break up but that’s no reason to kill an innocent child n I’m going to have to find another job so I can make money while I apprentice.

COMMENTER 3: Now u gotta tattoo your other kid on the other side of your face

COMMENTER 4: If you and [girlfriend] decide to have more after this, than you always have your butt cheeks:p

GIRLFRIEND: No he I’d NOT tattooing anymore of his face this is why I didn’t want to have another kid and it jynxed us. But were going to try our best I guess and TRY to respect each other. I love chris with all my f***ing heart and I love this family. But I want us to be a happy and honest family for once and I’m hoping this child will be a girl so it will make him grow up a Lil bit more lol

GIRLFRIEND: I’m so worried and stressed out as always lol…All he needs is a job me to get a second one and a CSR and apartment /: …I’m just worried about too much.

GIRLFRIEND: He has a face tattoo its hard. That’s what’s is stressing me out.

I guess we know who’s going to be the breadwinner and who’s going to be the stay-at-home dad. Well played, bro.

[Via Starcasm]

Matt Keohan Avatar
Matt’s love of writing was born during a sixth grade assembly when it was announced that his essay titled “Why Drugs Are Bad” had taken first prize in D.A.R.E.’s grade-wide contest. The anti-drug people gave him a $50 savings bond for his brave contribution to crime-fighting, and upon the bond’s maturity 10 years later, he used it to buy his very first bag of marijuana.