Last week on an exceptionally long train ride home to visit family, I opened my laptop to begin writing my BroBible article. Unfortunately, I had left open a website that I would rather have not shared with my fellow rush hour commuters. There in front of me in full screen with the volume up fairly high was Meggan Mallone moaning at me while James Deen took her to pound town. I quickly slammed my laptop shut and anxiously looked around to see if anyone had caught me. Everyone had caught me.
Since I couldn’t open my laptop again and definitely couldn’t look anyone in the eye, I took out my phone and started texting my close friends the news. The girlfriends in my group-text commiserated and laughed with me about the scenarios I always seem to get myself into. My guy friends reacted with something I didn’t expect. Instead of laughing and sharing an embarrassing moment of their own they all came back at me with “WAIT, you watch porn?!”
Yes, I watch porn. And yes a lot of the girls you know do too. I found it so interesting that this came as a shock to most guys that I decided to conduct a small group study. Below are my findings.
Survey of 20 females between the ages of 21 and 25:
Do you or have you ever watched porn?
• All 20 - Yes.
Do you watch it regularly?
• 11 Yes, but only once a week or a few times a month.
• 4 Yes, about three to four times a week.
• 3 Yes, I watch it with my boyfriend.
• 2 No, I don’t watch it regularly.
Do you watch alone or with another person?
• 15 Alone.
• 1 I do both, it depends.
• 2 Always with another person.
• 2 McKenzie, I told you I don’t really watch porn. Please stop asking me questions.
Do you hide the fact that you watch porn?
• 16 I mean, I definitely don’t publicize it.
• 2 Not from my boyfriend/hook-up buddy.
• 2 Nothing to hide because I don’t watch it!!! (I secretly think these two nymphos are just ashamed to admit to me that they have a porn addiction).
I ended my study there so my friends didn’t start to get creeped out and think I’m a lesbian. Granted this is a small group study of my friends, so we can’t generalize and draw any conclusions on the whole female species. It’s possible I just hang with a sexually charged group of girls that have high libidos.. but for the sake of this article, let’s treat it as a real study. So far we have learned that A. Girls watch porn, too. B. They watch fairly regularly and typically watch it alone. C. They feel the need to hide it. It makes sense now that guys are so surprised to find out that their female friends regularly visit RedTube. That brings me to our second study..
Survey of 10 males between the ages of 22 and 28:
If you had to guess, how many of your girlfriends have watched porn?
• 8 Two or three.
• 2 I doubt they have.
Do you think those few girls watch regularly?
• 5 No.
• 4 Maybe?
• 1 Somewhat regularly.
Do you think I watch porn?
• 7 No…?
• 3 I didn’t until five minutes ago.
Have you ever watched porn with a girlfriend, ex or hookup?
• 4 Yes.
• 6 No.
Laugh. Out. Loud. The thing that makes this so great is that the guys in that second study know the majority of the girls in the first study. Two or three of your girlfriends have watched porn? Try twenty.
Find this fascinating? Keep reading to see why and what we’re watching.
We Watch to Get Off
Men and women are vastly different in a lot of ways but we both engage in occasional and in some cases regular masturbation. After doing some online research, I found that most women watch videos that make it all about the woman. We like our girls pretty and our guys hot. No old guys banging an ugly girl with big fake tits. We only enjoy watching pretty people get it on. If we’re watching for pleasure, we are fast forwarding through the blowjobs and getting to where the guy reciprocates oral sex. In fact, more straight women than you expect watch lesbian porn for the oral sex. That’s why James Deen’s popularity is on the rise amongst female viewers. He knows what he is doing in that department. His most recent claim to fame is being in the media for possibly banging Lindsay Lohan. The two are filming a movie (an actual one, with clothes) and apparently keep getting into “lover’s quarrels” on the set. I hope he gave her gonorrhea.
We Watch to Learn Some Moves
We want to party like a rockstar, look like a movie star, play like an all-star and f*ck like a porn star. If we start to feel our sex lives slipping into plain vanilla territory, we may watch a few videos to pick up a few new movies to test out. One of my good friends revealed that she would never have successfully mastered the fine art of fellatio if it weren’t for Jenna Jameson. Some of us use porn as an educational tool.
We Watch to Get in the Mood and Explore Fantasies
Some girls are just as visual as their boyfriends. They watch before a big date or before heading over to their boyfriends to get in the mindset of sex. Women are fabulous at multitasking but sometimes that can be our downfall. We have so much going on that our brain can’t always focus on sex and we can’t achieve orgasm. Porn is so in your face that you can’t really think about anything else. It helps us focus. It’s also the perfect tool for exploring something we’re interested in but nervous to try out or ask for. Spanking? Spanking sounds kind of hot.. But it would be really uncomfortable to ask a guy to do it. It would also be embarrassing to ask for it and then hate it. If we’re not comfortable with sharing our sexual fantasies, we can live vicariously through our favorite porn stars instead. Porn never judges.
There you have it. Proof that women watch porn, too. Or, if nothing else, proof that those twenty gorgeous NYC women have watched it. I wonder how those ten guys feel about that right now. I honestly can’t believe I just wrote this article and approved for it to go on the internet but I hope you enjoyed it. I should consider changing my name.