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Check Out This Morbidly Obese Guy Getting Crazy Turnt At This Festival

By 07.24.14

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Typical festival bros, amiright? Always on those designer drugs, acting a fool. You would think when you’re a morbidly obese black guy at what appears to be the whitest music festival ever, you might want to try and blend in and keep a low pro, but this guy’s like “nah, Imma do me.”

“Doing me” for this dude entails gettin’ crazy high on some hard drugs, humping the ground, and chomping on some grass. You know you’ve got an eating problem when you’re shoveling grass in your mouth because there’s no food within arm’s reach.

Anyone else impressed by how limber he is? Methinks that beneath layers and layers of fat lies an aspiring yogi.

Also, is there anyone worse than this guy –

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This dude just can’t stand for the attention to be off of him for one second. There’s always one jerk-off like this, and they are the worst type of people. This isn’t your moment, bro. Stand back, get your popcorn out, and enjoy the show.

PS – how bad does that music sound? There’s some music that would inspire me to roll on the grass like a madman, but this certainly ain’t it.

Brandon Cohen
About Brandon Cohen... Brandon Cohen was raised by Jew gypsies on the sleepy island of Manhattan, and went on to defy the odds by graduating from a four-year accredited university in Nashville, TN. He's a writer and aspiring street fight videographer. Back in 2008, Brandon talked to Amanda Bynes at a club in LA for over fifteen minutes.
TAGSdrugs at festivalsFestivalspeople on drugs

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