Life
by J. Camm on December 13, 2011

After a night of drinking (and presumably no men willing, or brave enough, to touch them) these Monmouth College chicks decided to steal a nativity scene and place it on the lawn of the school's president. They could have bragged about it to all their “besties” if they didn't get caught almost immediately while fittingly sitting in the parking lot of a Taco Bell. To their credit they were quick to confess their wrong doing. “We did it,” getaway driver Korri Crawford told a cop. “Can we give them back!” If I was that cop I would have shot it to her straight, “Can you give them back? (condescending chuckle) I'm sorry but ugly girls don't get breaks in life, sweetie. You know that.”

According to the Smoking Gun:

Five college students–all women–are facing theft charges after they swiped nativity scene figures from a public square in Illinois.

The quintet of Monmouth College students allegedly stole statues of Mary, Joseph, baby Jesus, and several stable animals during the raid last week, according to police. The stolen figurines were recovered by cops on the lawn of the school’s president.

The women were busted early Friday, after they apparently (and unsurprisingly) hatched the plot following a visit to a local tavern.

According to a Monmouth Police Department report, the statues were noticed missing from the nativity scene after a witness told cops that the items were taken by five women in a maroon SUV. The car was subsequently located behind a nearby Taco Bell. During questioning, the students–several of whom are members of the Kappa Kappa Gamma sorority–confessed to the prank.

The accused nativity thieves (pictured above, left to right) are Brittany Smallberger, 22; Samantha Bundy, 21; Emily Triebel, 22; Crawford, 18; and Cathryn Sargent, 21. Each woman’s mug shot appears directly below a photo of her not taken by a jail employee.

None of these chicks are hot, but the one on the far left is definitely guilty of some trick photography. That top photo is a gross misrepresentation of her natural beauty. It's probably the best picture she's ever taken in her life and I'm willing to bet it will remain her Facebook profile picture for upwards of the next 10 years. Buyer beware. 

J. Camm

About J. Camm...

J. Camm is the Managing Editor of BroBible. He is a graduate of the University of Miami thanks mostly in part to a world-class short-term memory. When not writing drivel on the Internet, J.Camm enjoys golf and the inexplicable satisfaction that comes with forgetting a person's name the exact instant he meets them.

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