World’s Worst Mother Drops Her Baby On A Hardwood Floor Trying To Catch A Wedding Bouquet And It’s Hilarious


I couldn’t help but feel closer to my mom after watching this. Granted, I’m the unloved middle child of my family and my mom would surely sacrifice me to ISIS to spare my other brothers, but she would never drop me like a sack of potatoes for a few fucking tulips. So there’s that. Love you mom.

But I think this is a testament to women’s obsession with flowers. Chicks love flowers. You cheat on your girlfriend with her sister? Buy her a $9.99 bouquet of lilacs from the grocery store and she’ll be apologizing to you.

What would men drop their child on a hardwood floor for? I’d probably do it for $5. Tough love, baby. Quit your bitchin’, shake it off and get back in the huddle will be my parenting style. My dad’s always telling me how he dropped me on my head a few times as a baby and look how I turned out: a 28-year-old alcoholic who live paycheck-to-paycheck and doesn’t own a suit. Killing it. Thanks dad.

Matt Keohan Avatar
Matt’s love of writing was born during a sixth grade assembly when it was announced that his essay titled “Why Drugs Are Bad” had taken first prize in D.A.R.E.’s grade-wide contest. The anti-drug people gave him a $50 savings bond for his brave contribution to crime-fighting, and upon the bond’s maturity 10 years later, he used it to buy his very first bag of marijuana.