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Are you ready, bitches? It’s time to get seriously science up in this Earth, because we are firing up the Large Hadron Collider, for reals this time, full steam ahead, about to fucking smash neurinos or whatever into each other at a hundred billion miles an hour in an attempt to build our own mini-universe here on Earth, one we hope doesn’t swallow the planet because for reals that would be bad.
No, like really. We’re gonna make some mini black holes and shit and I’m no Tom Scientist, but to me, that isn’t a great idea.
“But, wait?” you say. “Hasn’t the Large Hardon Collizer been already doing shit? Didn’t it find the Giggs Bokin?”
Yes, sort of. It found the Higgs Boson particle, which is the particle that gives everything in the world mass. It’s really fucking confusing, and I don’t understand it at all, but smart people think it’s one of the most important discoveries ever, and won like 16 Nobel Peace Prizes for it.
But over the past few years, the LHC has been shut down so we could trick that bitch out. From The Conversation:
Upgraded with more powerful magnets to smash particles together with almost twice its previous energy, this will bring with it the opportunity to discover new, even more massive particles – just as with the Higgs boson – that will signpost the way beyond our current understanding of particle physics, the Standard Model.
Yah ya BOOM. Twice. Two times the thunder. If we could find the Higgs when we weren’t even trying, imagine what we can do now. Especially with the increased detection ability.
ATLAS, one of the four main experiments built around the 27km of the LHC complex, has gained the capacity to measure the paths of the charged particles produced in the collisions. This has improved the accuracy with which we can measure the lifetimes of these ephemeral particles that in some cases exist only for a tiny fraction of time.
But it’s not just all smashy smashy look at this gluon. No. There are some scientists out there who believe the LHC will prove the existence of parallel universes. Hold on, because we are about to get real Sliders up in here, but not the cool part of Sliders, when they slide, but the boring part, when they talk about sliding. Per Phys.org:
A group of physicists has suggested that the Large Hadron Collider (LHC), the largest particle collider in the world, may be able to uncover the existence of parallel universes, should they exist.
In a new paper published in Physics Letters B, Ahmed Farag Ali, Mir Faizal, and Mohammed M. Khalil explain that the key to finding parallel universes may come from detecting miniature black holes at a certain energy level.
According to the Telegraph, these are black holes that will be created by the particle accelerator.
“We predict that gravity can leak into extra dimensions, and if it does, then miniature black holes can be produced at the LHC, [Rolf Heuer, Director General of CERN said].
Which like, to me, seems like a really bad idea. But you can’t stop science when they want something. They’re like a beagle, just yap yap yap build me a particle accelerator.
It’s chill, though, probably. We’re gonna learn some shit.
[Heuer] said the switch-on would create ‘a new era for physics’ which could also shed light on dark matter, dark energy and super-symmetry.
“I want to see the first light in the dark universe. If that happens, then nature is kind to me.”
It is even possible that gravity from our own universe may ‘leak’ into this parallel universe, scientists at the LHC say.
Yea, let’s just dump on a whole ‘nother world. That seems good, like when Jerry O’Connell … I’m gonna stop now because I don’t actually remember any of the plots of Sliders.
Look, alls I’m saying is get drunk tonight because the world as we know it may end tomorrow. It might get blown up, or it might be proved that the Big Bang never happened or scientists might discover a portal to a parallel universe, where you could slide to a thousand different worlds. Where it’s the same year and you’re the same person, but everything else is different. And what if you can’t find your way home?
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Sliders