Life
by David Covucci on November 5, 2013

When parents of the children protested, do you think the coach relented? No. He issued this gem to Oregon Live

“I believe this is a fine venue,” said Randall Burbach. “It’s not a strip club.”

Damn right. I'm tired of people calling Hooters a strip club. It's a delicious wing joint. When I go, I don't even notice if they have waiters or waitresses. Probably both, I assume.

This all began when Burbach decided to throw a party for his team. I guess he felt it was his right to have it where he wanted, a place where he could drink a cold one, the kids could eat some french fries and moms and dads could stare at some tits. But when parents got wind of it, they went above Burbach's head to the school's athletic director, who while he agreed with the coach in an email that the ”food is good!” he was not okay with the atmosphere.  

In a letter written to “Families and Friends of Corbett 7th/8th Grade Football,” Athletic Director J.P. Soulagnet said he tried to persuade coach Randy Burbach to move the event to another location, so that “families could attend and feel comfortable.” But Burbach was “unyielding and emphatically said no.”

Damn straight, when the fuck else are these boys gonna learn 'bout breasts? Football makes men, and one way you mold a man is to get him objectifying women as early as possible. Burbach is probably upset he didn't get these kids in fifth grade 'fore the queer took hold. Of note, the closest Hooters to the school is 30 minutes away. Guy wants boobs. 

Actually, it seems like Burbach is a good dude, just one whose favorite restaurant is Hooters.

[A] parent volunteer said Burbach bought the kids dinner after every game and also bought them pizza when they went to his house to review film for game preparation. He also took them on a team trip to Mount Hood. Painter guesses that Burbach spent $1,000 to $2,000 of his own money.

Now it seems like the coach may be on his way out the door. Now that's not the tits. 

[H/T @KellyAlysia]