Submit your Ask A Babe questions here!
Q: I can’t cum! I mean I can, but I don’t shoot a load, or even really have a load at all. This happens during sex, or when I’m jacking off. I’ve asked my doctor and a urologist about it and they pretty much just brush it off since I don’t have an issue getting hard, or staying hard, and I’m not interested in having a kid. Once my erection subsides I will leak out a small amount, but I guess my main concern is do chicks care if I don’t noticeably cum when I bust a nut?
A: No. It means less cleanup and that she won’t be leaking semen out of her crotch if she stands up immediately after sex. Honestly if more dudes cummed like you life would be better. Congrats for being the evolutionary cumming equivalent to the X-Men.
Q: As a guy, how do I get more matches on Tinder? What do girls look for on a Tinder profile? I can only non-discriminately swipe right for so long.
A: Matt Keohan, one of the other writers here at BroBible, changed all of his Tinder photos to a slideshow of dickbaggery and shameless self-promotion along the lines of “please fuck me because I am single and alone….emphasis on alone.” That seemed to work pretty well for him, so I suppose it should work for you too.
Q: I’m 24 with 3 questions-I still get checked out, but my hair is thinning pretty bad. Do girls care about that? Also do girls care about the fact that I have quite a bit in my savings, but I don’t have a job or a car? Lastly, what’s the best way to communicate with a girl on the street who I just had an electric connection with, and who keeps looking at me?
A: 1. Yeah, might wanna invest in some Rogaine or at least a fancy wig.
2. EW you fucking bum GO GET A JOB. I don’t care if you have $400,000 in savings, if you don’t have a job at 24 you look like a fucking loser, get employed.
3. You don’t. That’s creepy. You might think it’s an electric connection but she’s probably looking at you thinking “Wow, that guy is super young and still losing all his hair. I hope I don’t lose MY hair. Welp, time to go see my boyfriend who doesn’t necessarily have a lot of money saved up but sure as shit has a decent job!”
Q: I’ve been dating my girl for two years now and its going swimmingly. Except she cant/wont feel comfortable with going out with my friends on the weekends. Some of them have girlfriends, but they’re more come-and-go than consistent. I want to be able to go out with my friends and also have my girlfriend come along without her asking to leave every thirty minutes. I’ve had conversations with her about this and she always tells me that she will try harder but never does. I’ve had my friends ASK me to bring her and she still feels uncomfortable. How can I make her feel better about hanging out with my friends?
A: First of all, why does your girlfriend feel uncomfortable? Are your friends assholes? Is she a pussy? If it’s the first one then this is completely understandable and if it’s the second then maybe you should introduce her to them slowly. Imagine it from her perspective: you and all these dudes are best buds and she’s the odd one out. She doesn’t know any of them except for you and so while you and your Bros stand around and shoot the shit she’s probably standing there silently, feeling awkward and left out. Maybe try going out in smaller groups of people rather than everyone all at once, and try to include her more in the conversation.
If that doesn’t work, then you can go the strategic route and hang out with her and her friends. That way when she complains about being with you and YOUR friends you can be like “But I hang out with your friends it’s not fair you can at least try blah blah blah” and then guilt her to death. Win win!