Some experts estimate that the first wave of human settlement on Mars will be in 2025. I am going. I don’t care whose dick I have to suck. This Earth shit has just gotten out of hand. In my 28 years on this planet, I’ve lived through September 11th, four Nickelback albums, seen the Kardashians ascend to the biggest stars on the planet, caught a glimpse of Bieber’s hog, swiped through every single girl on Tinder, and gotten a handful of rub-n-tugs at NYC massage parlors. There is nothing left for me to see or do here.
The wheels have fallen off this planet and this video of this dickface baiting a homeless man into believing he was getting something to eat only to humiliate him with the dickiest dick move in human history is just icing on the cake.
If this video enrages you as much as it does me, lets pack our bags bros and colonize the fuck out of Mars. I’ll bring the Natty Lite, the weed, and a few of my most cherished Brazzers DVDs. You bring the red solo cups and a sustainable atmosphere for us to survive. And a funnel. A funnel too. Don’t forget the funnel.
So I did some research: Our trip to Mars is going to cost upward of a million. GRANDMA ADD AN EXTRA ZERO ON THAT CHRISTMAS CHECK FOR ONCE. FUCK!
[h/t LADbible]
Or we could move here, bros. This looks cool as shit.