by Sorry For Partying on August 7, 2013

Backhanded compliments can be tricky though, requiring definite finesse and skill. Think a mixture of beer pong, shot gunning, and beer bongs: speed, precision, patience and dedication. Practice makes perfect. There needs to be the perfect combination of sincerity and room for “miscommunication” for this technique to be pulled off successfully. Unfortunately for us, you can’t straight up tell a girl you want to hook up with her just because you’ve heard she knows how to rock the sheets, or that you think she has a crazy resemblance to Jabba the Hutt. Somebody decided that shit wouldn’t get you laid. You have to learn how to sneak those feelings into every day conversation. To know how to give the best backhanded compliment, you must first know why they work so well. Listen close grasshopper and we’ll break it down for you.

First, a backhanded compliment needs to start off with a seemingly positive sentiment.

The only way to get a chick to actually listen to you is if you talk about them. Sure, having an impressive BP stats list is chill to tell her about on the first date, but trying to pick up a girl in the middle of a bumping party with the fact that you always sink first cup isn’t going to get you anywhere. No girl wants to hear about you and how much you lift when Justin Timberlake’s sweet melodious voice is coming from the dance floor. You have to work with your environment. That’s where the compliment part of a backhanded compliment steps in.

Take this one for example: “I really like that dress….”

Immediately, your girl is going to want to hear what you have to say, because it’s about her obviously. Like every female ever, she’s obsessed with anything someone else has to say around her, so Justin Timberlake can keep on singing on the dance floor, she will stay right there and listen to you. She loves the fact that you supposedly noticed what she’s wearing. Too bad she’s dead wrong. She could be wearing jeans for all you care. You’re just reeling her in, hook, line and sinker. Definitely use the party music to your advantage, pausing just long enough that she has plenty of time in to figure out why she thinks you think she looks good. Yes, that’s the way girls think. Savor it bro, it’s all about to come crashing down.

Now it’s time to go in for the kill with the backhanded part of your backhanded compliment, aka the best part.

It’s the subtle way of telling a girl that she’s not as great as she thinks she is, and you can definitely do better. It’s the same reason you always show up five minutes late on a date or respond to her texts only after waiting the appropriate “I don’t give a fuck” hour. Don’t let her think that she’s hot shit. Once you let a girl get away with that, there’s no stopping her. You’ll be buying tampons in no time and we don’t want to see any guy lose his balls.

“I really like that dress… I’ve seen like seven other girls wearing it.” BOOM. Bet you didn’t see that one coming. Bet she didn’t see that either. The perfect, “innocent,” backhanded end to your compliment. This literally couldn’t be better. Your chick will now have to fake like she appreciates the fact that she is a dime a dozen, while cringing over the fact that other girls are wearing her exact same outfit and you get to reap the bonus points of giving her a compliment and being a gentleman. Follow this shit up with offering her a drink and you’re good to go for the rest of the night. She’ll feel the need to impress you in an attempt to prove that she’s different than those “seven other girls” who are wearing her same outfit and who had already caught your eye. Too bad she won’t be able to, especially since those girls don’t even exist. The ball is in your court, bro, exactly where it should be.

Nothing beats a backhanded compliment because you literally get bonus points for making fun of a girl. It’s hilarious how much pressure they feel to reward you for complimenting them even though you’re really just insulting them. That’s chicks for you. To help you with your backhanded compliment itinerary we’ve compiled a list of a few more for you to bring your next rager. Write these down, memorize them, and don’t forget to thank us:

“I don’t care what they say about you… you’re not that bad in bed!”

“Wow, I never knew small boobs could be this much fun!”

“You’re a lot more fun when you drink!”

“You look really casual today!”

“You’ve definitely gotten less uglier!”

Try these excellent one-liners out and let us know how it goes. As long as you say them like you really mean them, it will be hard pressed for a girl to see your true intentions. Just sit back and let them feel the need to make sure you’re enthralled. That’s the true art of a backhanded compliment.

This post was originally published on Sorry For Partying.

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