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Man’s Loses His Pen*s When Drunk Friend Shows Off Samurai Sword Skills

By / 05.06.11

According to Lozanov the unfortunate accident of all unfortunate accidents went like this: 

“He told me he was a martial arts expert — he was whizzing it around his head. I went to try and take it off him before he caused an accident — and then he slashed it in front of me. I thought he'd missed but then I felt a burning pain and collapsed. He'd sliced the sword through my trousers and lopped off my pen*s.”

That isn't even the best part. Lozanov lobbied and begged to keep his friend from being put in jail. All he wants Todorov to do is get a f*cking job so that he can buy him a new prick. Heart of f*cking gold this guy has. Todorov was given a six-year sentence for taking your dick and then you, the dickless wonder, have the means to forgive him? I'm floored right now. And torn. I mean, would you save your friend from jail if he accidentally cut your dick off? 
Of his kind actions to spare his friend Lozanov said, “People tell me I was noble to get him released but I want him to get a job so he can pay the compensation I am due. There is nothing I can do to change what has happened — it's in the past. I just hope now that, by helping him, it will help me.” Well if that hack can't find a way to rub two nickels together and get you a new dick then you'll just have to dust off the old samurai sword and… sell it on Ebay. (Note: I went the other way with this one because cutting the guy's dick off won't make his grow back. Plus, you need to be like a expert martial artist to do that anyway.)

TAGSFunny Storyguy gets penis cut offsamurai sword accidentsamurai sword penis accidentWTF
J. Camm
About J. Camm... J. Camm is the Managing Editor of BroBible. He is a graduate of the University of Miami thanks mostly in part to a world-class short-term memory. When not writing drivel on the Internet, J.Camm enjoys golf and the inexplicable satisfaction that comes with forgetting a person's name the exact instant he meets them.

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