Life
by J. Camm on March 12, 2014

walter-george-bruhl

Walter George Bruhl Jr. seems like the kind of grandfather who would teach his grandsons some necessary shit to be a real man and get through life. Or at least that’s my assumption of Bruhl, who passed away at the age of 80 on Sunday and, to his family’s surprise, wrote his own, awesome obituary. On top of that, it’s seems his request for his family is to not have viewing for him because, in his own words,”his wife refuses to honor his request to have him standing in the corner of the room with a glass of Jack Daniels in his hand so that he would appear natural to visitors.

Bruhl is knows what’s up, viewings are THE WORST. Can’t blame him for sabotaging his wife’s plans to give him one with a completely unreasonable request. A request, might I add, that I will someday steal so my loved ones don’t have to stand around in a funeral home rife with woefully mismatched furniture and counting the seconds until they can leave. Because, to reiterate, viewings are THE WORST.

Below is Bruhl’s obituary, which was shared by his grandson Sam on Facebook.

walter-george-bruhl-letter

Since that looks tumultuous to read in its current state, here is the full text:

Walter George Bruhl Jr of Newark and Dewey Beach DE is a dead person, he is no more, he is bereft of life, he is deceased, he has wrung down the curtain and gone to join the choir invisible, he has expired and gone to meet his maker.

He drifted off this mortal coil on _____________ at __________ at his home in ________. His spirit was released from his worn out shell of a body and is now exploring the universe.

He was surrounded by his loving wife of ______ years, Helene Sellers Bruhl, who will now be able to purchase the mink coat which he had always refused her because he believed only minks should wear mink, his two sons, their wives, and his four grandchildren. Walt was preceded in death by his tonsils and adenoids in 1935, a spinal disc in 1974, a large piece of his thyroid gland in 1988, and his prostate on March 27th 2000.

He was born in Phila. PA on April 20th 1933 at 10:38 PM and weighed in at a healthy 7lbs. 4oz. and was 22” long, to Blanche Buckman Bruhl and Walter George Bruhl. He drifted through the Philadelphia Public School System from 1937 through 1951, graduating, to his mother’s great relief, from John Bartram High School in June of 1951.

Walter was a Marine Corps Veteran of the Korean War having served from October of 1951 to September of 1954 with overseas duty in Japan from June of 1953 till August of 1954. He attained the rank of Sergeant. He chose this path because of Hollywood propaganda, to which he succumbed as a child during WWII, and his cousin Ella, who joined the corps in 1943.

He served an electronics apprenticeship at the Phila. Naval Yard from 1956 till 1961, operated Atlantic Automotive Service Stations in Wilmington during 1961 and 1962 and was employed by the late great DuPont Co. from 1962 thru 1993 (very few people who knew him would say he worked for DuPont and he always claimed he had only been hired to fill a position).

He started at the Chestnut Run Site as a flunky in the weave area of the Textile Fibers Dept., and then was promoted to research assistant, where he stayed from 1953 through 1972. In 1972 he accepted a position as an equipment service representative with the Photo Products Dept. at the old DuPont Airport Site (now Barley Mill Plaza).

In 1973 he was promoted to Manufacturing Engineering Technologist and was employed in that capacity until, after 31 years with The Co., he was given a fine anniversary dinner and a token gift and then ‘downsized’ in Dec. of 1993. He was rehired as a contract employee in June of 1994, doing the same job that he had been ‘downsized’ from, and stayed until July of 1995. He started his own contract business and worked at Litho Tech Ltd. from 1996 till 1999.

There will be no viewing since his wife refuses to honor his request to have him standing in the corner of the room with a glass of Jack Daniels in his hand so that he would appear natural to visitors.

Cremation will take place at the family’s convenience and his ashes will be kept in an urn until they get tired of having it around. What’s a Grecian Urn? Oh, about 200 drachmas a week.

Everyone who remembers him is asked to celebrate Walt’s life in their own way, raising a glass of their favorite drink in his memory would be quite appropriate. Instead of flowers, Walt would hope that you will do an unexpected and unsolicited act of kindness for some poor unfortunate soul in his name.

Most of us never knew Walter George Bruhl Jr. but, by all accounts, he sounds like a guy who was certainly worth knowing. R.I.P.

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[H/T Daily Mail]

J. Camm

About J. Camm...

J. Camm is the Managing Editor of BroBible. He is a graduate of the University of Miami thanks mostly in part to a world-class short-term memory. When not writing drivel on the Internet, J.Camm enjoys golf and the inexplicable satisfaction that comes with forgetting a person's name the exact instant he meets them.