A sex-having contest is all fun and games until someone gets stabbed. At least that’s what my mom used to tell me. It turns out she was right.

Calvin Bernard Hill, 54, was arrested on a felony battery charge following an altercation in the back of a PT Cruiser being driven by a female acquaintance of the duo. According to a Greenwood City Police Department report, Hill stabbed the 41-year-old victim in the ribs after they left a party.

Interviewed at the hospital, the victim--whose name was redacted from the police report--said that “he and Mr. Hill got into a verbal altercation about who can have the most sex.” A “tussling match” ensued and he ended up being stabbed, recalled the victim, who was initially found bleeding profusely by a cop identified as “Captain Morgan.”

It’s amazing that the victim here passed on the rare opportunity to adopt the Captain Stabbin’ moniker. Now that’s worth getting knifed over.

[H/T: The Smoking Gun]