You idiot. You total buffoon.
Meet Shaun Coles. Coles is a British man who last week attempted to sell his girlfriend on eBay and has since seen his auction go viral. Coles says the stunt was a light-hearted joke; dozens of people did bid on his girlfriend, though, with one guy offering $1,180 before the listing was removed. Coles says he dropped the auction after realizing it violated eBay’s rules against selling human beings.
Here’s why Coles is a (hilarious) moron: His ad is brutal. He repeatedly describes his girlfriend of six years, Debbie Moran, as an “old woman,” he complains about her inability to do housework, and the included picture is of Moran wearing leggings next to what looks like a pile of trash.
This, somehow, received 50+ bids.
Naturally, Coles has spent the past week in full-backtrack mode. From the Daily Dot:
“In all seriousness, I wouldn’t sell her for anything,” Coles insisted on ITV.
“Awww. He’s trying to redeem himself,” Moran deadpanned. She went on to say that although she “hated” the photo and was “a bit annoyed” at first, she realized that Coles “didn’t do it maliciously.”
“It’s just a joke that got a bit out of hand.”
But remember: Friday is VALENTINE’S DAY. He will have this hanging over his head on VALENTINE’S DAY. Are you annoyed at having to shell out a $100 for a dinner? Frustrated you have to buy some chocolate shit at CVS? Think of Shaun Coles this week. Shaun Coles, the man who forced to buy a Kobe Bryant ring. Shaun Coles, the poor sap who will have trash duty until Will and Kate’s kid is king of England.
Don’t sell your girlfriend on eBay.
[H/T: Daily Dot]
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