Look, Mario. I believe that your pet mountain lion won’t try to tear me to shreds and shit, but when I come over for your Cinco de Mayo party, pay no attention to the assault rifle I’m carrying. It’s Traditional Mexican garb and merely part of my costume. Got to keep it authentic.
Honestly, this might be the best way to never have house guests. It’s fucking brilliant. No one probably ever asks why Mario isn’t hosting the party. I yearn for that kind of lack of expectations.
[Image via Mario Infanti's Facebook]
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