While finding a snake in a toilet bowl is obviously terrifying, to me this is really a story about how you should never wait to the last possible moment to take a shit. What if Willie Harris — the Alabama man who found the snake during his bathroom break — was at the warning track when he decided to hit the head for some much needed relief? What if the company only had one bathroom? Even if there was a row of toilets, could you squeeze one out while a poisonous snake was a few stalls over? I couldn’t. I’d stand there choosing between shitting all over my pants or brewing up something fierce in the office coffee pot.
The cops came to remove the snake.
Yes, a female cop removed the snake, and I mention that because she let everyone know in the video below that her male partners cowered in the corner while she did it.
Don’t worry, fellas, I’d have been right there with you in that corner chanting, “Dear God, make me a bird. So I could fly far. Far far away from here… Dear God, make me a bird. So I could fly far. Far far away from here.”