Genius Bro Fakes His Own Kidnapping To Avoid His Girlfriend

I’ve done a lot of unusual things in my life to get out of having to hang out with a girlfriend so I could kick it with my boys, but I’ve never gone as far as 22-year-old Justin Sarten did when he faked his own kidnapping and even going so far as to actually report his kidnapping to the goddamn police.

His mother told authorities that Sarten sent text messages to his girlfriend saying he had been kidnapped while in Tempe on Thursday night.

Sarten then reported to law enforcement he had been kidnapped and was in a vehicle heading south on the 202 freeway.

Authorities say Sarten sent additional text messages to deputies reporting the vehicle stopped on Hunt Highway in San Tan Valley.

Deputies located Sarten and three men inside a store and the men denied kidnapping Sarten, saying he was with them on his own free will.

Sarten later admitted to voluntarily getting in the vehicle. (source)

The local Sheriff, Paul Babeu, also weighed in with a lesson for all the kids out there, saying, “Upon learning of his reckless behavior, which frightened his family and diverted our resources from other emergency calls, suspect Sarten learned that there are serious consequences for crying wolf with law enforcement.”

Consequences like everyone knowing you are a complete idiot.

Although I suppose this genius could always just go hang out with that other Mensa member who called his fiancee to let her know that he was dead and the wedding was off. Imagine the stories they could tell! Oh, lordy…

H/T Death and Taxes; Kidnapping image by Shutterstock