Comic-Con is one of those bucket list life experiences I want to never have again. I went last year and the overwhelming convention experience itself still feels like peanut butter clinging to the roof of my mouth. It’s vaguely amusing wandering the San Diego Convention Center floor gawking at full-grown adults dressed up as Boba Fett and zombies for a couple of hours. But then you have a Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas-esque moment of clarity: “Holy Jesus! What are these goddamn animals? What’s happening here? What’s going on? We can’t stop here…. This is bat country.”
To call Comic-Con just sensory overload doesn’t do the experience justice: There are hundreds of thousands of people who all vaguely resemble Comic Store Guy from The Simpsons in their own special way. The smell is a mixture of pizza farts and sweat, mostly accrued from waiting in line for 12-hours to attend a Hollywood studio’s celebrity circle jerk in Hall H. Want to buy one of the cool, special edition Matel toys? Your ass better be up at 5am or you better have stacks of hundreds fat enough to bribe security. There are lines for fucking everything, from getting your pic taken with a porn star in a nerd-costume for $10-a-pic to grabbing a poster for a TV show that will probably be canceled in two seasons. It’s pretty awful.
I was so miserable after a day-and-a-half of Comic Con-ing last year that I ditched it on the last day to hang out with a friend in Pacific Beach, drinking slushie Red Bull vodkas in some beach dive. I couldn’t take the madness anymore.
Anyway, this year one Redditor went to Comic Con and ate mushrooms. I’m sure acid would have really put him pretty far down the psychedelic rabbit hole, but ‘shrooms were enough to get him to fire off some amusing text messages about the experience. This guy was obviously tripping his balls off, covering all sorts of subjects: Atheism, Israel’s invasion of Gaza, kids waiting in line for a free t-shirt with a poop face on it. It’s hella entertaining:
I want more like this!
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