Life
by Reggie Noble on September 25, 2012

The human-furniture coupling was interrupted earlier this month when an off-duty cop out jogging late one night spotted Gerard Streator, trysting with the yellow couch, which had been left at a Waukesha curb.

As detailed in a misdemeanor criminal complaint charging Streator with lewd and lascivious behavior, Officer Ryan Edwards reported seeing “a subject leaning over the couch facing down and it looked like he was having sexual relations with someone on the couch.” The cop noted that he “could see the male’s hips thrusting up and down on the couch.”

Streator, of course, looks exactly like a guy who would be down with f*cking a piece of discarded furniture. Look at him and tell me I’m wrong. You can’t.

Edwards concluded that Streator “had been thrusting his pelvic area against the cushions and trying to sexually gratify himself by rubbing his penis between the two cushions.” It is unclear whether the reference to two cushions meant that the couch was, in fact, a love seat.

[The Smoking Gun]

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