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Man Accused Of Flashing Teen Girl Says My Dong Is Too Small To Do That

By / 08.23.14

man_small_penis_defense_exhibition
This might be the one time in the entire history of mankind that having a small penis would be a positive. Herbert O. is a 54-year-old delivery man in Germany who is accused if whipping his dick out when delivering a parcel to a teenage girl at her home last year. The man allegedly unzipped his pants in front of the girl and delivered a second unwanted package. However Herbert has quite the defense; his wiener is too small. He called upon an expert witness to argue his side of the story, his wife.

Herbert’s wife gave insightful testimony:

“I’m sorry darling, but your penis is too short to hang out of your trousers.”

Thanks? There is no truth to the rumor that Herbert’s lawyer said, “If the Magnum condom doesn’t fit, you must acquit.”

However judge Ulrike Andrees isn’t just taking her word for it because he has ordered an official measurement. Oddly the measurement will be performed by the city coroner’s office, which Herbert is hoping that he won’t suffer from any rigor mortis in his pants and he can finally get off.

[NYDN]


Paul Sacca
About Paul Sacca... World Renowned Toenail Model | Inventor of the Glory Hole | Shared a Cruller Doughnut with Jonah Hill in 2009 | Buys Porno Magazines in Airports | Voted Most Likely to be Pantsless When Arrested | 10th Member of the Wu-Tang Clan | Probably Slept with your Mother

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