In 2013, the US earned the distinction of being the first country tracked by Pornhub to watch the majority of its online porn on mobile phones. About 52% of porn consumption was on mobile phones this year, compared to 46% last year, according to Pornhub.
Which is weird, right? Call me old-fashioned, but phone is for phonin'. Laptop's for pornin'. Don't get me wrong. I've watched porn on my phone—mostly in the barren wasteland that is reliable hotel room WiFi—I just don't like it. Laptop requires no holdin' hand, whereas phone does. So you either have to search with your jackin' hand—covered in spittle—or awkwardly manuever your holdin' hand. So while I get that yes, occasionally you need to use a phone for pornin', who the fuck are these people doing it all the time? Why would you watch porn on your phone? IT'S SO SMALL. Maybe a ton of dudes jack off in the office bathroom during the day? I could see that as a reason, but then you have to bring your headphones to the toilet room. No. (Unrelated, what percentage of guys masturbate at work? God I hope it's less than five.)
So, what the fuck? Maybe it's rednecks who have 4G but not broadband? Actually, that's probably your answer. People in Arkansas who have Verizon Wireless and a 28K modem. That also explains why America is the only country with mobile numbers this high. Everyone in Europe has high-speed internet. Carry on, heartland. Carry on.