Life
by Andy Moore on April 8, 2014

 

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Right now, in some nursing home across this corrupted country, YOUR grandmother could be living like a common harlot. Like a lady of the night! She could be living in an absolute den of sin, I tell ya!

Sorry. I had to talk like a 1920s gangster. It’s how you scare some sense into these no-good elderly folks. They don’t listen these days!

Take this: A Long Island man recently visited his dear mother Bernice at the East Neck Nursing Center, only to come across a terrifying image: there, on Bernice’s dresser, was a photo of Bernice stuffing dollar bills into the underpants of a male stripper. SHE USED TO BE A FINE LADY.

The controversy goes deeper. It turns out that Bernice was accompanied by other residents at the strip show, and it was put on by the East Neck Nursing Center itself after the residents’ activity commission voted to bring dancers to the nursing home rec room. Franklin Youngblood is now suing for the “corruption” of his mother, who is clearly anguished about putting dollar bills in one guy’s underwear, as seen in the photo above.

From the New York Post:

“Plaintiff Bernice Youngblood was placed in apprehension of imminent, offensive, physical harm, as she was confused and bewildered as to why a muscular, almost nude man, was approaching her and placing his body and limbs, over [her],” the suit states.

“Bernice Youngblood has lived 85 years as a traditional Baptist, hard-working, lady . . . And now she has been defiled…  The vile incident was done all for the perverse pleasure and enjoyment of the Defendant’s staff.”

/drops moral outrage

Your mother is not corrupted or defiled and her friends are not up to no good. She is 85 years old. She deserves to put a dollar bill in some Jockeys at this point in her life. She’s earned it.

Also I love the idea of the Magic Mike sequel taking a detour at the East Neck Nursing Center.

[H/T: NY Post]

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