Will all of the spray-tanned, gelled-out mountains of human sweat and hormones be able maintain their alarming enthusiasm about their new f*ckin' haircuts? Only time will tell.
'Uge news comin' in from Suffolk County, Longuyland. Legislata's have been tawkin' about bannin' en-a-gee drinks fuh those undah nineteen yeaz old. Real tough on the young-stahs.
Legislation mandating an energy drink purchase age was proposed a few years ago, and has since been voted on by the Suffolk County Board of Health. Caffeine-packed drinks like Monster and 5-Hour-Energy have been getting some bad press of late, with the latter being cited in 13 death reports since 2009. These drinks are considered dietary supplements, and don't have to disclose how much caffeine they contain (a two-ounce shot of 5-Hour-Energy has about as much caffeine as two cups of coffee).
"If a young person is in a strenuous activity, caffeine intoxication can lead to cardiac arrhythmia," William Spender, a doctor and Suffolk County legislator, told CBS News. And it's not just caffeine that might cause those tiny teenage hearts to stop—the county's health commissioner, James Tomarken, says added stimulants like sugar make the effects of the caffeine that much worse
Whetha aw not you agree with en-a-gee drinks bein' bad fuh the kidz and all, this looks like anotha way to take money outta companies that can hiya people, and put it inta the black market. Cuz you can shaw bet that Tommy is gonna get a fake ID if he can't have his Monstah!