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This Little Monkey Boning A Duck Is A Grade-A Freak

By / 08.29.14

Monkey Boning A Duck

Dammit, monkey! Chill with that freaky duck shit. I’m all for monkeys getting it in however they can, but as soon as you start forcing yourself on ducks, you gotta take a step back and realize the perverted lengths you’re going to just to get your monkey nut.

It’d be one thing if the duck was like, “yeahhhhh, c’mon, monkey, gimme that monkey dong.” But this duck wants NO part of what’s going on. Clearly “no means no” hasn’t made its way down to the animal kingdom yet.

I wonder if this monkey is an outcast of the monkeys. Like he tried to get monkey ass, but he was just too big of a social misfit to close the deal with any other hot monkeys. I also wonder if another monkey happened to see this going down, this monkey freak would realize what he’s doing ain’t right, and jump ship. He does seem to be looking around suspiciously a lot, so I feel like he knows that this isn’t really kosher.

Here’s the thing I know about ducks. Once you bone one, you’re not going back to monkeys. For the rest of his life now, this pervert isn’t gonna be satisfied by another boring old monkey. He’s gonna have an insatiable appetite for duck vag.

Do you think he has regrets the next morning, the same way that humans do? Like he wakes up the next morning in a daze, and over brunch he and his little monkey friends are talking about what they got up to the night before.

Monkey Friend: Damn, we got so hammered off those fermented bananas last night. I ended up hooking up with Karla.
Monkey Friend 2: Ewwww, hairy butthole Karla?! I thought you swore never again!?
Monkey Friend: I was in a bad place.
Freak Monkey: Yeahhhhhh… I fucked a duck.


TAGSanimal hijinksanimal sexanimal videosMonkeys
Brandon Cohen
About Brandon Cohen... Brandon Cohen was raised by Jew gypsies on the sleepy island of Manhattan, and went on to defy the odds by graduating from a four-year accredited university in Nashville, TN. He's a writer and aspiring street fight videographer. Back in 2008, Brandon talked to Amanda Bynes at a club in LA for over fifteen minutes.

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