Look, being catty is great but manipulating your husband into staying with you for “the sake of the kids” is bullshit. Studies have shown that divorced parents are better than ones who are constantly at odds when it comes to children, so when Haley Mulholland claims that she didn’t kick her cheating husband Kev out for the “sake of the kids,” it’s a load of crap. In reality she’s just being catty which, while fun, is horrendously shitty when you’re just stringing someone along with no end in sight.
But I’m getting ahead of myself, as always.
Haley and Kev Mulholland have been married for 15 years, but at the moment the two are “separated” yet “together,” meaning that Kev sleeps on the couch and Haley has imposed a lifelong sex ban on him due to his infidelities. Why don’t they get divorced? “For the kids”…and because she doesn’t want any other woman to have her husband if she can’t have him. According to Daily Mail,
The Mulhollands’ marriage became rocky shortly before they renewed their wedding vows on Valentine’s Day in 2013.
Mrs Mulholland said: ‘A month before the big day I was on the computer and noticed Facebook was still logged on to Kev’s profile.
‘I clicked on his inbox, and discovered a message from one of our neighbours.
‘She’d written “Have you told her yet?” which made my heart race…‘But just weeks after our wedding I started hearing rumours about the two of them.
‘I asked Kev if something was going on and he denied it. But I smelt a rat – a love rat.’
That is when Mrs Mulholland started to doubt her husband and put him on a sex ban until he admitted the truth.
She said: ‘I trusted the people who were telling me. So I told him, no nookie until I get to the bottom it.
Two years went by with Kev and Haley sleeping on opposite sides of the bed until Kev finally decided that the pair should go on the Jeremy Kyle show (Britain’s version of Maury) for a lie detector test.
I’m sure you’ve already guessed how that went.
But the lie detector test on the Jeremy Kyle show revealed that Mr Mulholland had cheated on his wife with their neighbour.
She said: ‘Kev walked off stage, swearing that the results were fixed. But that evening he finally admitted the truth.
‘He said it had only lasted five minutes, but that didn’t matter to me. Once a cheat always a cheat. (Via)
According to Haley her youngest children haven’t noticed any changes (which I’m also calling bullshit on unless your kids are the absolute lowest common denominators to ever plague the earth), and in addition to her sex ban she now tracks Kev’s movements.
For those of you keeping score at home, we’ve gone from “catty” to “stalker.”
Mrs Mulholland said she has now started to track her husband’s movements to make sure he isn’t seeing other women.
‘It sounds crazy as, hand on my heart, I do not want him back. But whenever he goes out I make a note of how long for and calculate what he could be doing,’ she said.
‘Maybe it’s jealousy or perhaps it’s because I want him to suffer.
‘I know his Facebook password and I log in most days to check whether his floozy has been in touch…
‘The other day I hugged him as soon as he walked through the door. I think he saw it as progress, but I was just seeing if I could smell another woman on him.
‘I make sure I know where he is at all times.
‘So far he has passed the test, but if he ever fails I’m ready to pounce.’ (Via)
While the majority of you are (hopefully) sitting here like “What the fuck is wrong with Kev to put up with this shit,” it appears that Kev is the perfect sap who likes to sit underneath Haley’s ass as she shits on him and then repeatedly ask “Please sir, may I have some more?”
Mr Mulholland, 46, said he was determined to win his wife back.
‘I love Haley more than anything, no other woman compares. The kids and her are my life.
‘I’m still living in the house, so there’s still love there. I’m not having sex with anyone to prove just how serious I am.
‘The fact that she’s checking up on me tells me that she cares.’ (Via)
Buddy, you and I have very different definition of the word “care.”
[H/T Daily Mail, header image via Shutterstock]