Being a guy in Vegas can be hard if you don’t have five women on your arm to offer up to the club bouncer like currency and you’re in some sick “Indiana Jones Temple of Doom” situation. Vegas is a time honored tradition every bro must go through. Consider it our version of birthright, as every man at the age of 21 must honor his sacred duty as a Bro and journey through the desert to this paradise of prostitutes, gambling and parties. But it is very easy to do Vegas wrong and end up with hundreds of dollars down the drain and crabs from a hooker on the wrong side of the strip.
Believe it or not, there is a way to go to Vegas with your wolf-pack and actually get into the clubs you want, be able to catch the bartender’s attention and have a movie-worthy time (I’m talking Hangover #1 fun, not the crappy sequels no one likes). Don’t feel like you have to drag a few girls along on what should be a “guys only” weekend filled with debauchery. Plan your buddy’s bachelor party without fear. Just last year I turned 21 and went with three of my best friends to Sin City, on Fourth of July weekend no less. We got into a different club and pool each day, sometimes with reduced cover, and partied until the sun came up. It’s not just possible to do, it is imperative.
Bouncers have a list. Ever wonder how to get on it? Go about a week or two ahead of the trip online and find promoters for each of the clubs you want to visit. Many of them will accommodate any group, regardless of how many girls are in your group. I got into two swanky clubs for free just by putting my name and the names of my three friends on the list ahead of time. These guys are also great contacts for other hot parties and strip clubs to hit up after you’ve done the club scene. I even got reduced cover at a topless pool party in Caesar’s Palace. No, I’m not making that up. See? I know what I’m talking about.
This seems counterintuitive, as many of the women come later. Stake your claim when there isn’t as much demand. You will sail in past any line and be ready for when the hot chicks arrive. Not only that, but a lot of Happy Hours end around 10/10:30, so drinks are actually reasonable for some early birds. Pregame earlier and buy a few drinks right when you get there so you’re liquored up and ready to party the night away. Also, if it’s your birthday/bachelor party/made up holiday you think is special, let the bartender know. You may feel like a dork, partly because you are, but they might give you free booze. I did that at one of the more expensive clubs and talked them into giving me a free round of shots. Being a dork pays off sometimes.
You’d think alcohol is like a dying substance based on the high drink prices they charge in Vegas. Remember, as a man, you have to buy ladies drinks. You are going to go broke if you try and get drunk off of Vegas liquor. Stop off at a liquor store at the desert. Don’t worry if it is sketch and looks like something from The Hills Have Eyes, you’ll thank me. Stockpile the room with all the booze you can carry because the name of the game at all points is to pre-game.
One ATM I went to had a surcharge of $7.00. I thought people usually bought their dates dinner before they fucked them? That surcharge is ridiculous. At that same liquor store with the mutant from The Hills Have Eyes as the cashier, go to the possibly broken ATM and take out the amount of money you seek to spend throughout the trip. Yes, you are going to have to budget, or you will end up like my Mom’s friend who crashed on our couch after losing $32,000 gambling that weekend in Vegas (true story). Go to the safe in your hotel room and put all the cash you are saving for the next couple of days and walk out only with the cash you are willing to spend. Those poker tables can bleed you dry.
The only thing they judge in Vegas are the people who are the wet blankets. Have the time of your life, but be safe. Look out for your buddy and make sure they are having the best possible time they could have, but also that they won’t get murdered. This is a rite of passage. If your bachelor friend or birthday boy is sober at 11am, you are not doing your job as a friend. He will thank you before you pass out on the road back home.
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