Life
by Andy Moore on December 17, 2012

Off-the chain news, you guys. My main man Karl Welzein—who not only has a rockin' 'rang, a pizza shop that brings all the ladies with the bomb-sized chest beefers, and a 'Bring—now has another title to add to his rez: Published author.

Welzein must have polished off a lot of thinkin' beers, because he has an actual book comin' out in July of next year called “Power Moves: Livin' the American Dream, USA Style.” It's only $9.80, which is like 12 BL Numbs, you guys. Sounds like the perfect book to read while taking down a dozen Habaneros on a Wing Wednesday at B Dubs. Or while grunting one out in the John.

Honestly, I haven't been this excited since Guy Cooler first made his appearance in the script for Roadhouse 2: Pain Still Don't Hurt. Just hope that corncob Peener Wells doesn't get his mittens on it.