Life
by David Covucci on November 18, 2013

Of course, all this stuff is completely and totally unverified. Except the John Mayer story. He totally is an asshole who demands that his fans be able to take an entire forearm into their vagina in his name before he even considers having sex with them. Fuck that dude. Here are the highlights. 

Apparently, Carrot Top is packing. 

If you are a bartender in Philadelphia, you may be able to get stoned and sleep with Anne Hathaway.

A girl once gave Jackass's Don Vito a blowjob in front of a table of coke, which is disgusting. 

John Mayer would like to see your fucking butthole. 

If you did Elvis, he may have paid for your abortion. 

Click below to see Part Two of the best Groupies of Reddit stories

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Darius Rucker coos after sex. 

JOHN MAYER DEMANDS FISTING.

Fatboy Slim could use a little pick me up. 

Derek Jeter flaggelates himself while watching his highlights naked. 

The dude from Nickelback doesn't care what you think because he has the dick of a champion. 

[H/T Deadspin]