Here are your Morning Headlines:
- Tragic: Huge twister on Sunday night kills 89 people in Missouri City. [MSN]
- Crazy: Wif Hom is known as "the Ice Man." He loves sitting in ice more than anything else...even having his pen*s live outside his body. [AOL]
- Tech: Here are 9 Facebook scams/attacks that gullible morons should look out for. [Huff Post]
- World: Literal cyclops and Bin Laden's right hand man in 9/11, Mullah Onar -- you could say he had "an eye" for terroism, oh stop -- was reportedly also hunted and killed. [The Sun]
- NYC: Smokers no longer allowed to light-up in Times Square. So this ban really affects no actual residents of the city. [ABC]
- T.V.: Anna Kournikova will be joining the "Biggest Loser." Evidently she will be a trainer and not just someone who's personal familiarity with losing allows her to relate to the contestants. [Contact Music]
- Entertainment: Last time he was with Bill Maher, Zach Galifianakis smoked weed. This time, he shot heroin. [Huff Post]
- Sports: Proving yet again that no slur is containable in the heat of passion, Joakim Noah says 'f--k you, douche' to a Heat fan. Video Below
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