Life
by David Covucci on January 7, 2014

I'm sorry, that was wrong of me. The Jerry Sandusky scandal was a sordid, terrible series of incidents that left the lives of countless people ruined. 

But that doesn't mean Sandusky shouldn't still get PAAAYEED. At least, according to him. From the Huffington Post: 

[Sandusky] lost a $4,900-a-month pension in October 2012, the day he was sentenced to 30 to 60 years in prison for 45 counts of child sexual abuse. The decision also precluded Dottie Sandusky from collecting benefits. The State Employees' Retirement System (SERS) ruled that his convictions for involuntary deviate sexual intercourse and indecent assault fell under Pennsylvania's Public Employee Pension Forfeiture Act. Sandusky had opted to participate in the state-sponsored retirement system while at Penn State, which is a “state-related” university, but he was not a state employee.

But Sandusky is an American citizen. And even jailed American citizens have the right to sue motherfuckers as much as they'd like. His claim is that because the law allowing the state to revoke his pension was passed after his last contract, he should be grandfathered into receiving his benefits. So, right now, he's in the middle of a legal battle over whether he should continue to get his money. Short answer: No. Long answer: NOOOOOOO.

From a prison in southwestern Pennsylvania, Sandusky began by describing his career at Penn State and talks with school administrators about a possible continuing role with the university around the time of his 1999 retirement. His wife, Dottie, was in the hearing room for a proceeding that could last several days. Sandusky said he decided to retire in 1999 because of an early retirement incentive that would boost his pension.

“It was an opportunity financially to be in a more secure position by retiring at that time,” Sandusky testified

It would also now appear he's a LIAR, because as we all know, Sandusky retired so he could continue sleeping with kids and not get light slaps on the wrist from his boss for doing so. 

[Sandusky image via USA Today]