Life
by Brandon Wenerd on April 25, 2014

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Male sex toys are no new thing, as we’ve all seen ads for the Fleshlight and the Pocket Pussy for years. Hell, BroBible’s very David Covucci has earned quite a reputation around our office for shamelessly stokin‘ it with a bunch of Japanese sex toys, including a Tenga Egg, in the name of high quality blog journalism.

So what’s the future for the male masturbation device industry? Probably “The Autoblow 2,” which is a ”hands-free, automatic robotic oral sex simulator for men,” as The Daily Dot describes it. It’s currently being funded on Indiegogo for mass production and, as of this writing, has earned $32,000 dollars from donators eager to stick their members in a device that allegedly mimics a blow job. The Autoblow 2 weighs a beefy one and a half pounds and stands a 8.6 inches tall, so it’s far from a discrete device. Just look at this thing…

autoblow2

With the cutaway image, it almost looks like the french press of male sex toys. The device comes from the mind of Brian Sloan, a former international lawyer-turned-sex-toy-entrepreneur. In the Indiegogo post, he outlines why it’s a male sex gamechanger:

Here’s why the Autoblow 2 is a game changer:

  • It doesn’t use batteries. The Autoblow 2 plugs into a wall outlet. We chose a motor that was powerful enough to continue stroking, even when it is up against a considerable load.  It won’t stop mid-stroke like battery powered motors do, for lack of torque. And no, USB can’t offer enough power. Yes, its completely safe – it uses a UL listed AC to DC converter adapter.
  • It works with 3 sizes of interchangeable sleeves. Size is a big (or small) problem for a lot of guys when it comes to such products. With a battery powered stroker, a big penis would make the machine stop, a small penis wouldn’t feel much sensation, and an average sized penis would feel only an average sensation. But through rigorous testing, we came up with 3 sleeve sizes to ensure that no matter what a man’s size is, he will receive the same sensation while using the machine. Check the penis graphic below for sizing information.
  • Relatively hands-free & feels great. You can either hold it with your hand, or depending on the position of your body (can’t get into too much detail here), you don’t need to hold it at all. It will stroke up and down, doing all of the work for you. It suffices to say that if you lay on your stomach, the machine can be used without holding it at all. The feeling of having your penis inside of the sleeve while the spring-loaded beads stroke up and down can best be described in 2 words: surprisingly good. We will develop a table-mounted holder for it in the future.
  • The motor is industrial strength. The Autoblow 2 won’t break like a “toy” would. We left it on for 1000 hours with a simulated load on the motor, and we finally had to turn it off because the person who worked near it didn’t want to hear it everyday anymore. The entire product, including the motor, is built to the quality level of a kitchen appliance – not a sex toy. FYI, we wrote the motor is good for at least 500 hours on the box, but later we realized it will work for far longer!
  • It is super easy to clean. I won’t get into too much detail here but this style of product in the past has been VERY difficult or nearly impossible to properly clean. But since the Autoblow 2 uses a removable sleeve, cleaning is a breeze.
  • Real variable speed control. You can control the up/down stroking motion, from slow to fast. Because the product uses a powerful motor, you can actually USE the slow stroking function. On battery powered similar products, the slow stroking function is useless because it will just stop. So fear not, if you so desire, you can stroke it slowly with the Autoblow 2.

 

More details on the anatomy of this thing in the chart below. CLICK the image to expand…

 

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And finally, a video! Is it just me or does this guy look A LOT like Andre from The League?

How long until humanity just stops having sex to reproduce and only fucks machines for pleasure? Why even date anymore! Seems like we’re steering in that direction. So I have to ask…

Would you?

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Brandon Wenerd

About Brandon Wenerd...

Brandon Wenerd is BroBible's senior editor, guru of @brotips, and director of strategic partnerships. He joined BroBible in the fall of 2009 after graduating from Penn State. When he’s not writing, Brandon enjoys fishing, Phish, Philly sports, Dewey Beach, supporting live music, hot sauce, and beer. E-mail him with post ideas and news tips: brandon@brobible.com.