I have this weird obsession with how people present themselves on Facebook. From the chick who can't stop talking about a break-up to the dude who has the profile picture of him with his shirt off. I recently got two invites to birthday parties and this is how I interpreted their descriptions (with help from friend and fellow comic, Chris Distefano @chrisdcomedy). Share this with any friends you commiserate with about horrible Facebook people.

Jared Freid is a New York City-based comedian. You can follow him on Twitter @jtrain56 for videos, column updates, and plenty of thoughts on the minutia of Facebook.