Justin JOHN Bieber, American badass. Lewiston, Maine's most unforunately-named resident is high on my bucket list of dudes I want to have a beer with. "I am Justin Bieber, 50 year old carpenter from Ohio. I currently live in Maine. I like prostitutes, booze and cigarettes. F*CK KIDS." Don't ruin this for me, Internet. I want to believe it's real...

H/T: Reddit