Life
by A. Gram on May 8, 2012

Now, rather than write the usual article for guys detailing basic sh*t about girls that they should know but don't, I'm going to drop a not-so-basic piece for girls about guys, detailing sh*t that they either don't know, or know and choose to ignore. The optimist in me wants to believe that it's the first one, but you never know.

This piece is a follow-up of sorts to my last one, which I'd like to assume that you read, but I know there's about a zero chance of that, so I'll break it down for y'all again. I ranted about how I was forced to say “yes” to going to a formal with a girl, due to the ridiculous social standards of women today. I told a girl that I did not want to go to this event with her, but when my female friends found out, they called me a jackass and made me text her back and ask her to her own social (after I had just turned her down). Normally, I wouldn't ever give in to their incessant nagging, but I had to keep them happy in this specific instance due to the circumstances.

Now, the gal who I was enlisted to take is nice enough, but it was the principle of the thing that really rustled my Jimmies. I thought that by treating this girl as I would want to be treated if the roles were reversed, I was doing the right thing. But it turns out that in girls' minds, due to some twisted logic, it's better to get that pity date than to just get shut down, even if that date is all that they're going to get out of it. Why would anyone want to spend time with someone who doesn't want to hang out with them? Now, clearly I can't change what women want, and I won't attempt to. But what I can do is explain to them that men don't function on the same level of crazy as they do.

We guys are pretty simple. When we ask a girl out, it's because we either want to get with her, or date her (and get with her on a continuing basis). But we only want the chick to go out with us if she's legitimately interested. We don't want a pity date with a girl, no matter how pretty she is, if we know for certain that she's not going to really consider us. It's a waste of our time and money to take you out if you don't even like us. You're not doing us any favors by suffering through a hundred dollar meal that you don't want. It'd be a different story if you guys paid for the pity dates, but that's never what happens

What you are doing, is setting us up for failure. In your alleged effort to be nice, you give us false hope and then screw us over. So here's a novel concept: be honest with us.  If you're not interested, come out and say so. Don't give us any BS excuses or lie to us. Just a simple “sorry, but no” will suffice. You don't wanna go out with us? That's cool, we have no problem on moving right on to your friends. And honestly, any guy that can't deal with being told “no” once in a while probably isn't worth wasting your time with anyways.

In short, what I'm trying to say here, is do yourselves and us a favor, and just level with us. Contrary to whatever y'all might think, we can deal with rejection. We can deal with the word “no”. What we don't take kindly to is your giving us false hope, and more importantly, letting us waste our money. That's just not cool. So remember, help everyone out and just say so when you're not interested.

NOTE: If you really do feel that bad about saying “no”, and you're looking for a way to make it up to the poor guy, condolence blow-jobs are always acceptable.

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