Q: Hey so I am going into my junior year of college and am not in a frat. I don’t get a lot of girls because most of the attractive girls are in sororities and will only hook up with frat guys. Is it worth it to join a frat junior year or just go bar hopping with they boys and hope for luck?
A: I hate to admit it GDI Bro, but in a situation like yours, being a part of the brethren will absolutely improve your chances with the sorostitutes. A frat-centric college scene is all about social status, and even if you gain it late in the game you’re going to benefit from it. You only have four years of your life when it’s acceptable and frankly encouraged to wear Greek letters, sleep until noon and binge drink, daily…so enjoy it.
Q: I've been with this girl for 6 ½ months now, and I notice that a lot of problems in our relationship can be traced directly to her daddy issues, since he walked out on her mom when they got pregnant. So how am I supposed to deal with the problems? I've already embraced her sexual aggressiveness, and I'm already whipped, so what do I do?
A: Don’t cry because your girlfriend is better than you in bed, cry because you’re a self-proclaimed “whipped” boyfriend after 6 months of dating. In all seriousness, you’re supposed to “deal with the problems” by being there for her. It sounds simple, but providing her with the support she never had could really make a difference for her.
Q: Some of my bros and I were split on the idea whether a souped up BMW x5 is a girl's car or not. Another bro and I said that if its black on black it's fine, but others disagreed. What's your input?
A: My input is that if you’re having this conversation in the first place, you have way too much time on your hands and should stop playing so many video games.
When it comes to nice cars, there’s a fine line between sexy and douchey, and a “souped up” BMW definitely crosses over into douchey territory. Keep it simple; pick me up in your Aston Martin, no fancy rims needed.
Q: Alright, I'm putting together a “sex playlist” for my iPod and I'm a little stumped as to what should be on it. Any suggestions?
A: First things first- a sex playlist should always be personalized to the girl who’s getting seduced. You’ll find that Boner Jams are not one size fits all – similar to what you found about the Magnum condoms sitting unused in your drawer – so put a little thought into it. If the girl likes Dave Mathews, put some f*cking
Dave Mathews on there. She’ll eat that sh*t up. If she’s into hip hop, Dave Matthews is probably gonna be a boner killer.
Things to avoid include extremely emo music a la Dashboard Confessionals, or at the other end of the spectrum, super intense techno/house music. You’re in a bedroom, so go for something sensual that won’t make her cry; something that keeps the pace without making her feel like she forgot her glowsticks at home.
And when in doubt; baby bump anotha slow jam…
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