Q: I hooked up with a girl I just met at a party and got her number afterward. Before this I only had girlfriends so the whole hook up thing is new to me…what do I do next? Should I just wait until I go to another party and text her to meet me their or what? I really like her but I don't want to seem too forward.
A: Listen boyfriend; I know that relationships soften you to doing and knowing what's cool when it comes to keeping your game intact. I've been there and I get it. But now that you're back on the playing field you gotta wisen up; it's time to experience the rebirth of slick. Despite your fondness for this new girl, you need to pump the breaks a little bit. For all you know, you're her third fling this week; and being overly aggressive is wildly off-putting.
Since you have her number, wait a few days to text her – or at least until the weekend. Get a feel for what she's doing–and if she seems interested in doing something with you later–and take it from there. A response in general is a good start. A fluid conversation, even better. An offer to meet up late-night…the best. Don't put too much weight on the long term; just enjoy your new found freedom and roll with it.
Q: I've known this girl for like 15 years. We've always been friends, never dated or hooked up. The problem is over the last year or so I've began to develop feelings for her. She's told me that I am the funniest guys she knows. I was with her last week for the first time in like two months and she just kept on dropping compliments on me “omg i like your shirt”, “those glasses make you look good”, “I like your hair like that”. Are these all potential signs she's interested in me as something beyond our friendship? or am I stuck in the infamous friend zone?
A: These recent shifts in your relationship could go one of two ways; and yes, one does point you in the direction of Friend zone Highway at an unruly speed.
In one possible situation, she's decided to put the final stamp of death on any chance you've ever had with her; and she's molding you into a gal pal right before your eyes. In which case you're shit out of luck.
Or on the flip side suddenly, like you've done, she's noticed something special that she's somehow never seen before. It's piqued her interest and she wants more; new haircut, clear skin..who knows.
But in situations such as this you must always proceed with the utmost caution, because you really do have a lot to lose. As much as I hate to say it, I'd recommend waiting on a more concrete signal from her. Yes it's frustrating but playing it cool while letting her make the move, is the move. You might even be able to pick up on some insider info from her friends- if she's really considering it, they'll know about it before you do. Don't ruin a friendship just for the sake of finding out if she's attracted to you as well. If the fates align…you'll know.
Q: I met a really nice girl recently and she gave her number after we hit it off at a club. After I met her I thought to myself, is there a such thing as a “nice girl” as in the opposite of a “nice guy”? In other words, is it the same case where nice girls finish last like nice guys. Are “nice girls” the type to have trouble saying no to guys where “nice guys” have trouble getting girls to say yes?
A: This question requires a whole lotta thinking and digestion for a Tuesday afternoon. But considering your thoughtful ponderings, I guess I'm up for the challenge.
When it comes to nice girls you can sift them into one of two categories: girls who are interesting, cool, and happen to also be nice; and girls who are…just…nice. Nothin' else going for them; a real tragedy.
The former is of course the more romantically successful of the two; she draws attention and has the guts to blow off the attention she doesn't want. The latter, onlynicegirl, is fated to have a much tougher time- and for that reason is more comparable to the female “nice guy”.
Not to be confused with one of my all-time favorite characters, and drug dealers, Mr. Nice Guy.
Nice guy lady is less apt to draw attention, thereby decreasing her confidence and perpetuating the viscous cycle of lacking self-assuredness and ultimately becoming a cat lady while all of her friends get hitched with some previous college beau.
In closing, while nice girls do probably finish last per your above hypothesis, its not because they have trouble saying no.
Q: I have a once in a lifetime opportunity, a hot girl just moved two houses down the street from me. Seriously getting with my neighbor has been my dream ever since American Pie. The problem is that she never comes outside. Literally, she moved in about a month ago and I`ve seen her walk up her driveway once, my friend saw her playing ping pong in her backyard(our houses are right in front of a creek you can walk through) and I have seen her dad once. So dear babe, how do I find a way to meet this chick.
A: Sounds quite literally, like the American dream. Who needs hot dogs and the right to vote when you can watch your babe neighbor washing the family minivan?
Pales in comparison.
I think our biggest hurdle is going to be getting Boo Radley out of the house. It's gonna require some effort.
(For the 90% of you who read this trash instead of diving into some classic literature…look it up.)
Unfortunately I think you've surpassed the baking “welcome to the neighborhood” cookies…so lets brainstorm.
First off, you could have a party at your house, and casually invite her. It'll seem off the cuff and will remove any pressure of random one-on-one hangout time.
Another thought would be to put your parents to good use, and use them as middle men.
They could extend a family dinner invitation to the whole fam, or use that annoying but effective parent tactic of being able to strike up a conversation with any person of any
They'll be more than happy to revisit the glory days and scheme on your behalf-all the while being “in the know”. Believe me; they eat that shit up.
If all else fails, you need to be a little brazen and find the chance to establish some good old-fashioned eye contact — without letting on that you've been planning on it…or staring into her bedroom window…just a friendly neighborly smile; and see if she reciprocates. Tomorrow, you could even add in a “Hi”.
Baby steps. God speed.
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[Hook up image via ShutterStock]