Bro Explains How To Properly Eat A Burrito, Which Is Kinda Like Hooking Up With A Girl

This kid is a Bro in my book. So many perfectly normal people become sloppy savages when it comes to chowing down on a burrito. They end up unintentionally emptying out the delicious contents of said burrito because they don’t have the technique mastered. It’s a goddamn shame. Fortunately, Danny Ready is here to help, complete with a little burrito-eating innuendo.

“Firmly grasp the bottom… Know when to go from vertical to horizontal… One-hand it…” These are sexual euphemisms for this Iowa Bro’s tutorial on how to eat a burrito without being a savage.

Two rules to live by in burrito-eating:

“If you think you need to use the foil, NO… STAHP.”
“The kind of guys who can’t eat a burrito without spilling everything out of it are the kind of guys who pee sitting down.”

As long as you have a firm grasp on that bottom, you’re golden, Bros. Just remember the proper time and place for housing those ‘ritos.


 

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[H/T: Uproxx]

Brandon Wenerd is BroBible's publisher, writing on this site since 2009. He writes about sports, music, men's fashion, outdoor gear, traveling, skiing, and epic adventures. Based in Los Angeles, he also enjoys interviewing athletes and entertainers. Proud Penn State alum, former New Yorker. Email: brandon@brobible.com