Every week I hear all my friends toiling away at big bank jobs for 100 hours a week complain about how bad the investment banking system is and how badly they wish they could escape it. A new 15-page PowerPoint presentation making the rounds today offers up an analyst’s guide to surviving the first two years and becoming “The One.” This "Matrix"-inspired manual will teach you how to ignore your overbearing boss, how to avoid getting stuck working weekends and, eventually, how to stop bullets. First step: Buy yourself a black trench coat and some dark shades. The full guide is after the jump.