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A Bro Finds Out Disney World is the Horniest Place on Earth, Plus it Takes Two to ‘Slay’

By / 07.30.12

Every year my class had a trip to Disney World. Well, this one year some freshman sl*t, who's one of my friend’s sisters, was going on the trip. We get to Disney and go to our hotel and this girl calls my room.  So we — me and the three guys with me — pick up and she tells us to look out our window. I had never talked to this girl before in my life but I was interested in seeing what would happen. The hotel had a courtyard layout so you could see across the atrium and into the other rooms. Well, this girl is naked pushing her breasts up against the window for the whole hotel and my friends to see. This went on for like an hour and we went to bed.

The next day we go to Magic Kingdom and after, like, three hours, I get a call from this girl telling me to meet up with her. We end up meeting up at the Haunted Mansion and decide to go on the ride. We get on the ride and withn 10 seconds she has my pants off. This girl is giving me dome until the ride gets stuck in the big center room where there is a black light and you can see across the room. She was wearing all white and didn't stop, so I think the whole room knew she was giving me head. The ride is just about to end and I finished on her face, put on my pants, got off the ride, and never talked to her again.

This is the exact same reason Goofy walks around with that enormous smile all day despite the crippling heat. There are an alarmingly high number of girls out there with costume fetishes. Also, I like this girl’s ability to keep flashing you guys for an hour. That’s just excellent dedication to her craft.

It was my freshman year in college. Feeling good, been getting some solid p*ss within the last few months, but I was pledging a Fraternity and whoever has done it can agree your life gets pretty f*cking miserable.

But me and my bros were still racking the puss, like I previously mentioned. So one night after ripping that favorite glass piece we all know and love at the frat house, I got back to my dorm and was just going to go to sleep because I knew I was going have an early morning.

Right after I get to my room, I realized I was parched, typical for any stoner, so I turned back around and headed for the elevator so I could go downstairs to the vending machine. All of a sudden my RA walks out looking pretty f*cking drunk, so I say hello and go to get my drink. When I get back up from the drink, my RA is still standing looking like she’s waiting for someone. I start talking to her, spitting my typical top-notch game when I realize, sh*t, she might want to get with me.

Not surprising because I am a fairly good-looking young lad.
Let me first state that this girl is hot. Not just one of your weirdo RAs that we have all come to know and hate. This b*tch was hot and wanted the hog. Blonde hair, blue eyes, big ol' breasts and a nice round ass.

BAM! All of a sudden this girl throws me up against the wall and starts pelvis-thrusting me right in the middle of the hallway. Again, in my slick manner, I say “Wanna take this to your room?

.Instantly she grabs my hand and brings me into her room. After we get in there, we fool around a little bit until we are both fully unclothed. Then out of nowhere she says, “I can’t do this, I’m sorry, but I can’t”.

WTF? Who does this right?

Well, blue-balling like a mother*cker, I say whatever, throw my clothes back on and head to sleep like I had originally planned.

Fast forward 24 hours and I’m back in the same position. She comes stumbling back through the hallway just like the night before. Yet this time she has another target — one of my fellow bros, so I don’t give a sh*t and hope he can do better than I did the night before. I let them do their thing when all of a sudden she looks over at me and says “so you gonna join or what?”

I glance over at my buddy as he glances back at me, at the same time it’s like we were both thinking the same thing and instantly hop on this chance. We get into her room and it’s just like the night before, except now there’s a second dude with me.

It was like it was straight out of a porno. She gets down on her knees, starts jerking him while blowing me, switching off and on. The whole nine yards.

In the end I ended up having my first threesome, an*l experience, and topping it all off was the fact that it was my RA. Truly a great experience that can’t go untold.

Did anyone else get the impression that this guy is awesome? Call me old-fashioned, but you know what’s better than sharing a girl with your buddy? Having her all to yourself.{pagebreak}

My senior year of high school, me and my boy would hang out at this chick’s house. Her aunt, who was quite the plumper, was “supervising” me and the girl, but really was just using that as an excuse to talk to my boy. So after a few nights of this, he and I decide to come hang out after dark.

The four of us are on the back porch when the girl says to me “I want to see it”. Now, I'm a gentleman, and I give the ladies what they want, so we went off the porch and started making out. The porch had a wall about two-to-three feet high running around the base with a screen going up to the ceiling, so we had a lot of privacy in the dark backyard.

So we're hooking up, and I open up my pants and we start feeling around. She takes it out, looks and says, “Damn, Dave, I didn't know white boys were packing like that!” She then proceeds to have an asthma attack and runs back into the porch. There she sees her 350-pound aunt stroking off my boy, and it just throws her even deeper into her fit. Apparently she hadn't seen that many dicks before, and we were both quite impressive.

Not letting this little hiccup get in my way (and being a true Bro to my Bro) I let her settle down, then we go back outside. We get back to the part where she's feeling my dick, and she drops down to suck it, when my boy bangs on the glass saying, “Hey Dave! My mom wanted me home by 10! We gotta go!” Being that I was a relatively late to the hook up scene, this would have been my first blow job, and it was a very un-bro thing to do, so I told him to wait. My girl was startled but she settled back down and was about to go back in again, then this little twit bangs on the window again about the time! I did not get blown that night, and me and the chick broke up soon thereafter.

Your friend has some extremely questionable judgment. He also wouldn’t be my friend anymore if he pulled a stunt like that. I’m just going to assume his junk stunk like Twinkies for the next three weeks.

Remember, please send your Hookup Heroes stories to J.Camm for virtual fist-bumping.

 


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