Life
by Schmitts McDuggan on December 2, 2013

1. HMDX – Jam Wireless Portable Speaker – Price $49.99

Get your girl moving with this portable speaker that’s small enough to fit in her handbag but loud enough to get the party started. Available in several color choices.

Buy it here.

2. Lululemon Yeah Yoga Crop – Price $78.00

What red-blooded American male doesn’t like seeing a great ass in a pair of tight yoga pants? Buy her these high-quality yoga pants and have her in downward dog in no time.

Buy it here.

3. Holstein Mini Lines Holiday Fun Trio – Price $49.95 (Pictured at the top)

A brownie, cupcake, and waffle-stick maker should give your girl the nudge she needs to improve her cooking skills but feel free to add your own ingredients to liven up the party.

Buy it here.

4. Vibratex Magic Wand – Price $49.90 

What is a personal massager, exactly? Well yes, it could help her with those knots and sore muscles but move this seemingly pedestrian-looking machine down to her nether regions and enjoy the show. The optional attachments make for a great stocking stuffer.

Buy it here.

5. Basic Fleece Dog Hoodie – Prices from $12.97 to $20.97 

The fastest way into the pants of a dog lover? Make her dog love you. This hoodie shows you care about Fido and won’t break the bank.

Buy it here.

6. Adopt a Whale, Dolphin, or Turtle – Price based on donation level

Is your girl an extreme environmentalist? If so, then a donation option is a great route to go. You can also apply the tax deduction you’ll receive to buy her a razor since she very likely isn’t shaving her snatch, not that there’s anything wrong with that.

Adopt it here.

7. Soothing Touch Massage Trial Kit – Price $37.46

Things not moving along as quickly in the bedroom as you would like? These massage oils offer a quality option to the Axe Body Lotion you tried to pass off during the first massage you gave her last week. If things don’t work out you can always use these as a high-quality lube for beating off. 

Buy it here. 

8. Nordstrom Knit Ruffle Wrap – Price $65.49 

Keep your fashonista warm this winter when you’re not around with this Knit Ruffle Wrap from Nordstrom. Whether you’re dating a fattie or a full-blown bulimia patient this one-size-fits-all approach takes the guesswork out of buying clothes. Available in several color choices.

Buy it here.

9. Carmen Electra’s Aerobic Strip Tease Collection DVD – Price $29.99

What bro hasn’t fapped to Carmen Electra at one point in their life and what bro wouldn’t want his girl to learn her boner-inducing dance moves?

Buy it here.

10. Cooking, Dancing, Pottery Classes – Price Varies 

If you’re like me and hate wrapping presenting then this could be your go-to. This requires a bit more pre-planning on your part but finding a local restaurant or studio that offers is a good way to do things as a couple while picking up a new skill along the way. Bitches love dudes with skills.