Soon an long-standing conundrum will be solved when juice bar strip clubs begin to pop up on highways all across America. You see strip clubs traditionally make a lot of money on alcohol sales, truckers traditionally get very bored out on the road and gravitate towards roadside strip clubs, those strip clubs cannot sell alcohol to the patrons because it would lead to drunk driving, and therefore there’s a huge loss in potential profits.
To make up for the massive loss in potential profits those ‘We Bare All’ roadside strip clubs sell food, they sell shower access, they offer rooms to take naps, and storefronts full of sexy toys. But if all goes according to plan there will soon be a new wave of ‘all-nude juice bar strip clubs’ debuting on highways across America (starting on I-80 in Nebraska) where truckers can spend a lot of money on overpriced juices while getting to appreciate all the perks of an all-nude strip club.
An owner of multiple adult websites wanted to open all-nude juice bars along Interstate 80, through Nebraska.
Shane Harrington is the first to tell you that he loves the ladies.
“Thousands of (photo) shoots. I don’t know; I probably worked with 30-40 models,” Harrington said.
Some people find his business of selling controversial. The 39-year-old helped promote Internet adult entertainment stars like Mellisa Midwest, and, most recently, Val Midwest.
He’s now working up a juicy plan to bring those erotic images to life. Harrington is planning to open nude juice bars, with the first coming near Grand Island, then Seward and finally one between Lincoln and Omaha.
“We’re going to be an alcohol-free strip club. A drug-free strip club. If girls want to drink or do drugs, we’re not the right strip club for you,” Harrington said.
Despite Harrington’s attempt to stay classy, some people in Seward County already spoke out against his proposed gentleman’s clubs.
“I haven’t even bought the land yet,” Harrington said. “I’m just talking about one, and it’s like, ‘Oh my God.'”
Led by church leaders, groups in opposition packed into the county planning and zoning board meeting earlier this week.
“We don’t see positives coming out of it for our family-based community. For how it treats women,” the Rev. Andrew Ratcliffe said.
No positives? Are you shittin’ me? How about the creation of hundreds if not thousands of jobs all across the country? You’re going to need more dancers, more juicers, more people working the supply chain of produce getting fresh fruit and vegetables into those juicing machines. They’d be morons not to allow this to happen!
In fact every strip club in the nation, roadside or not, should be selling fresh juice. Not everyone drinks booze, some people can’t for health reasons and need something else to flush down their gullet, and fresh juice often fills that void left by alcohol.
THE TIME IS NOW PEOPLE: We need more juice in our strip clubs.