Life
by J. Camm on February 28, 2014

teacher-jackoff-artist

All this time….all this goddamn time I thought by 72 I’d stop wanting to fap myself silly. Looks like that day might never come. Ah, well, I guess there are worse crosses to have to bear for an entire lifetime, like a butt chin or your garden variety case of genital herpes.

Seventy-two-year-old, substitute teacher, Michael Luecke was caught by a fellow faculty member (a “paraprofessional educator” to be exact– whatever the fuck that is) of Westhill High School. Interesting place to have a whack. You might even say it’s so interesting that a person could very well come to the conclusion that anyone jerking off on school property might have a sexual penchant for children. You might say that. I, of course, won’t. But you might.

According to Norwalk Daily Voice:

“Video surveillance was found showing Luecke .. in a corner of a stairwell in the Rayner building suspiciously manipulating the front of his pants while looking at students in the courtyard,” police said.

In the video surveillance, he was then seen hiding behind lockers briefly and then lying with his pants open on the floor, police said. The witness is then seen confronting him while he is on the floor with his pants open, police said of the video surveillance.

In the video, six students passed his location while he was masturbating, police said. Police were working to identify the students to see whether they are in need of counseling.

Naturally, Lueke played the “I was just trying to fix my pants card.” Sure you were, pal, and I was just trying to hand-wash my socks in the bathroom sink all those times I was caught hand-washing my socks in the bathroom sink in high school.

Also, WHAT THE FUCK IS WITH THAT VEST?

Follow J. Camm on Twitter —>

J. Camm

About J. Camm...

J. Camm is the Managing Editor of BroBible. He is a graduate of the University of Miami thanks mostly in part to a world-class short-term memory. When not writing drivel on the Internet, J.Camm enjoys golf and the inexplicable satisfaction that comes with forgetting a person's name the exact instant he meets them.