It’s not often that I get to use this image from Van Wilder, but I’ve got a feeling I won’t be presented with a more perfect opportunity from now until the day I stop doing this job. I couldn’t take the risk of not using it. That would almost be as stupid as eating cupcakes given to you by a girl you constantly pick on, which is exactly what happened at on high school in Bakersfield, California.
According to WPTV:
California police were investigating a tenth-grader who is reported to have passed out cupcakes at school that were laced with semen and bodily fluids Thursday.
A Centennial High School student contacted RTV6 sister station 23ABC and said that the girl put pubic hair, semen, expired food and pills into the cupcakes.
That same student said that the girl passed the cupcakes out to the students who were picking on her.
When the students asked the girl why the cupcakes tasted bad, she told them it was because she had placed bodily fluids in the cupcakes.
One of two things happened here: This girl either spent time accumulating pubes and cum and other such grossness to bake into these cupcakes in an effort to exact her revenge, or the people bullying her are so on top of their bully game, they flipped her nice gesture around and told everyone she baked bodily fluids into the cupcakes. That would be next-level bullying, and I honestly wouldn’t put it past high schoolers. No matter which one it is, though, it would take a real crafty piece of shit to pull either of those scenarios off.
Follow J. Camm on Twitter —> Follow @JCamm_