Dear High School Bros: Stop asking hot supermodels out to prom via campy YouTube videos. They will not say “yes.” If they do, there will be nothing sincere about it because any douche with an iPhone can make a video “proposing” to a celebrity and throwing it on YouTube. They do not even owe you the acknowledgement of your existence. Sorry to be a buzzkill, but the trend jumped the shark last year with Kate Upton was basically forced into saying “Ummmm…. Kinda?” to one of these dumb videos on The Today Show and then everyone got mad when she was like, “yeah, I’ve got better shit to do.” Plus — she’s already been there, done that.
My advice to this young Bro, if he wants a chance of going out with Emily Ratajkowski: Become a blogger. Preferably for BroBible. I hung out with Ems Rata (we’re cool with names like that) last year at Comic Con in her (and your) home city of San Diego and we had a grand ole’ time.
— Brandon Wenerd (@brandonwenerd) July 19, 2013
Later that night we both went to a Playboy party (OK, not together… but we were both there!).
Prom? Psshhh. No one over the age of 18 gives a shit about that…